Mega Bets

Week 6 - 2 Weeks to Vegas Baby!!

10/11/2012

The Doofus was feeling pretty good on Saturday

Only two weeks to Vegas Baby!!

The Doofus ordered a bunch of cigars on line to stock up for the weekend. Unfortunately, I was travelling so the cigars got home before I did. Mrs. Doofus opened up the package and I got my annual admonition about health, money and the stench. Seems as though the cigar stench is worse than my every day stench. Who knew?

The Doofus had some real mixed results last weekend. On Saturday, The Big Book of Guesses sent up some pretty good picks going 28-22-1 and the Doofus took it home - going 2-0 with:

Mizzou 21 Central Florida 16 – I figured this would be a defensive slug fest and it was. UCF was leading 10-7 when Missouri broke the game open midway through the 3rd quarter with a 66 punt return for a TD. Nice. Another TD in the fourth quarter clinched it for the Tigers as they held on to win outright (didn’t need the three points after all). Sometimes Vegas just hands out little presents under the tree. A competent SEC team getting 3 against a CUSA team? Gift. Thank you. WIN

La Tech 44 Virginia 38 – Laying the three points on La Tech looked like it may be in trouble when the Cavaliers took a 24-10 lead midway through the 2nd quarter. But then the Bulldogs went off – scoring 34 straight points to take a 44-24 lead. Virginia tried to get a back door cover by scoring 2 TDs late but it wasn’t enough. The Bulldogs continue to rack up the points. The 44 points for La Tech is their lowest output on the season. La Tech QB Colby Cameron now has 12 TD passes with no interceptions. Keep an eye on the Bulldogs for the GO JUMBO weekend. They host an awful Idaho team - should be a blow out. WIN

Week 5 Mega Bets

9/27/2012

The Intercompletion

Oh Man, those NFL replacement refs suck! They have been missing calls but in week 3 they took it to another level. They finally cost a team a game. And not just any team but the Packers on Monday night football.

I’ve seen estimates that as much as $150 million to $1 billion changed hands (mainly from bettors to the casinos) as a result of the last play of the Packers Seahawks game. To recap, Green Bay led Seattle 12-7 (the Pack was covering the 3.5 spread) when Seattle throws up a Hail Mary pass. The ball makes it to the end zone and then the chaos ensued.

A pile of Packers and Seahawks jump for the ball but Green Bay DB Jennings appeared to have intercepted the ball – grabbing it as Seattle WR Golden Tate (a Domer no less) gets a hand on it. One ref ruled that Tate had joint possession and a TD while another ruled it incomplete. The play went to the replay ref. A full 10 minutes! goes by while the refs review it. And then they still blow the call – ruling it a Seattle TD. Totally blown call

Week 4 Mega Bets

9/20/2012

The Irish fans were dancing last week

Ooooof – that hurt. Notre Dame went all Archie Bunker on MSU as they stifled Sparty 20-3. And just like that the Big Ten is out of the National Championship hunt.

Southern Cal also stepped on their organ of regeneration with a loss to Stanford leaving only a handful of teams have a realistic shot at the MNC. The winner of Clemson / Florida State could go from the ACC, Oklahoma has a shot but needs a statement win (Texas – maybe) and perhaps Notre Dame if they clear the table. Oregon also has a chance but we seen what the Quack attack does against the SEC in back to back losses to Auburn and LSU.

In reality, if LSU and Bama stay unbeaten – other than the loss in their head to head – it looks like we are headed to a rematch. That would make for the two teams playing each other 4 times in two years. Not sure if that has ever happened before.

And John L “Slappy” Smith added another classic goofy moment with the "SMILE"

The Big Book of Guesses had another lousy week going 30-41-3. But the Doofus was smiling as he continued his winning ways - going 2-1 with the Mega Bets as:

The Wildcat strut

Northwestern 22 Boston College 13 – The Wildcats were moving the ball but only getting field goals. With 3 minutes left in the game, Northwestern led 15 to 13 when they downed a punt at the BC 1 yard line. BC went 3 and out punting the ball back to NU at the BC 44. Four plays later the Cats were in the end zone for the clinching score and the 3.5 point cover. Whew, a little too close for comfort but I’ll take the WIN

Best part is I get to see Bruce do his awkward old bald guy Wildcat strut for another week. Go Cats! 3-0 baby!

Utah 24 BYU 21 – This was a wild game. After three quarters Utah led 24-7 and I figured taking BYU and giving 4 was down the porcelain throne. But BYU rallied with two fourth quarter TDs to get within three. Then the fun really kicked in.

BYU drove to the Utah 34 yard line with seconds remaining in the game. A third down pass was incomplete and it looked like time had run out. Nuts. But the refs ruled there was one second left. All right baby! Kick a 51 yd FG and maybe we can get the cover in OT. Damn - the FG was blocked. Wait a minute – what’s this? - penalty on Utah!! The fans had run on the field too early and the Utes were assessed a 15 yd unsportsmanlike. Holy crap Batman! Now it’s only a 36 yarder to go into OT. So what does the BYU kicker do? – doinks it off the left upright. Game over LOSS

Philadelphia 24 Baltimore 23 – Philly continues to win despite Michael Vick. He threw two more INTs on Sunday making it six so far this year. Midway through the 4th quarter, Baltimore went on a nice 5 minute drive kicking a FG to go up 23-17 with 4:43 left.

I was feeling pretty good since even if Philly got a TD they would still only lead by one with little time left. Baltimore would either then get the ball back, score win and cover or Philly would get the ball back and go into a victory formation still leaving me with a Baltimore +2.5 cover. Sure enough Vick leads the Eagle on a nice drive and gets the go ahead TD. Baltimore stalled at their 46 and Philly sits on it to win.

As bad as Vick was Flacco was worse. Chowderhead Joe couldn’t hit an open receiver and kept throwing into tight coverage. Only difference was Philly didn’t pick him off. If Flacco was even half way accurate this would have been a blow out WIN

Week 3 Mega Bets

9/12/2012

The Big Ten exposed their BVDs last week

The Big Ten embarrassed themselves last weekend. If week 1 was going around with your fly unzipped at your wife’s euchre party – then week two – while short of a full pantsing – people could sure tell what brand of underwear you had on. Some of the not so great moments included:

Penn State’s kicker missed not one, nor two field goals but 4 including the potential game winner with one second left. His missed extra point proved to be the margin of victory in a 17-16 loss to Virginia.

Iowa QB James Vandenberg threw his second pick of the game with 1:11 left to seal the defeat against Iowa State in an ugly 9-6 loss.

Notre Dame kicked a FG with 7 seconds left to beat Purdue.

Nebraska was run over – letting up 653 yards in a 36-30 loss to UCLA. Andy was high on UCLA – figuring that they would easily cover the 6.5 season win total. His prediction is looking pretty good right now.

A bigger embarrassment was Wisconsin. After a way too close win over Northern Iowa in week 1, Bucky was expected to come out fired up and run the ball down a struggling Oregon State team. But for some unknown reason, Wisky HC Bret Beilema decided that the best way to beat the Beavers was through the air rather than with star running back Monte Ball. Wisconsin ran for on 35 yards and didn’t score until 1:31 left in the game in a pathetic 10-7 loss to Oregon State. After the game Bielema decided that the fault lay – not with the game plan - but with new OL coach Mark Markuson. “We decided to move on,” Bielema said “It was really something that wasn’t a knee-jerk thing by me.” 2 weeks into the season and it’s not a knee-jerk thing? Take out the knee and you have Bielema.

But the biggest embarrassment was not in the Big Ten but by a former Big Ten head coach down in the SEC. Arkansas HC John L "Slappy" Smith The Slap officially filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy on Thurday and then led his 8th ranked Hog squad to a 34-31 loss to UL Monroe. With the loss, Arkansas dropped out of the rankings. It was the biggest drop in the polls since scUM lost to App State. That game just keeps on giving!

With Michigan State putting a workman like 41-7 beat down on Central Michigan - it’s starting to look like the Big 10 is Big 1 Little 11. MSU’s defense held Central scoreless (their lone TD was a pick 6 with 1:39 left in the game). MSU’s defense has not let up a TD all year. That will be tested with Notre Dame coming to East Lansing Saturday night.

And the Big Book of Guesses was showing their Fruit of the Loom tag too going 28-38 in week 2 including a dismal 5-11 in the NFL. But it’s not how you pick ‘em – it’s how you bet ‘em that really matters. And the BBofG did much better there going 2-1 on the Mega Bets as:

Week 2 Mega Bets

9/5/2012

The Doofus Deck was rocking

The Doofus Deck was partying all weekend!!

The festivities started out Friday as we had a preparty for the cool guys (plus Dobby) to watch MSU break the Broncos of Boise State 17-13. MSU’s defense was outstanding holding Boise to its lowest offensive output ever under HC Chris Petersen (37 yds rushing and 206 yards total) and keeping the Bronco offense out of the end zone for the first time since 1997. Meanwhile, Le’veon Bell moved up the Heisman watch standings by rushing for 210 yards with 265 total yards against a solid BSU defense. Let’s hope they don’t overuse Le’veon like they did Javon Ringer back in 2009. Le'Veon is leaping up the Heisman charts.

On Saturday the place really got rocking as we gathered for an all day football watching, whiskey swilling, cigar chomping extravaganza. So many deviants showed up that we had to set up auxiliary seating and extra TVs just so everyone could see the games. Rock called that the ”seat back” rules would not be in affect causing everyone to hold on until their bladders were about to burst.

1 Week to College Football

8/25/2012

Only one more week before the start of College Football!!

Some very fun and interesting news came out earlier this week. Back at the start of the 2007 season, Michigan embarrassed themselves as the first ranked Div 1A team to lose to a Div 1AA team. Expectations were high for the Wolvies as they were ranked number 5 only to lose to Appalachian State in the opener. Now there is a report that the Michigan players partied all summer, got high just before kickoff and never prepared for the game Chumps of the West . What a great game!! And to relive that classic ending click here The Upset . Still got the T shirt!

And it’s the game that just keeps on giving. The next week Oregon ran wild over Michigan 39-7 leading the brainfart trust in Ann Arbor to determine that they needed to have a spread offense too. Out with Floyd Carr and in with DickRod. Ahh, the DickRod years. Michigan was an absolute joke. Early season Heisman hopefuls, over rankings, horrid defenses. Man, that was just fun! Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving program.

Now they claim that they were high for the game. What a great excuse! Guess it shouldn’t count like when scUM fans say they DickRod years don’t count.

Chad Johnson’s butt buddy Terrell Owens is going to be shown the door up in Seattle. When you are the number 5 or 6 receiver seems like you should keep your mouth shut and work hard. Not T.O. He’s been his usual motor mouth self and then when it counts he drops 5 passes against Denver including a sure TD pass. Last night he drops two more against KC. Good riddance to the pair.

3 Months to GO JUMBO

7/20/2012

The Doofus Brothers ventured up to Maine

It’s been some difficult times in the Doofus family these last three weeks. The Mother of all Doofusses was hospitalized recently. The Doofus brothers made it up to Maine to be by her bedside and keep her spirits up. At night we gathered on Pete’s deck to rehash old family stories. Cousin Robin came up from Connecticut, stopped at the discount liquor place in New Hampshire and then made sure we had plenty of Captain and Cokes to keep the conversation flowing. As the nights wore on the stories got better and funnier. Amazingly, the most hilarious stories were largely grounded in fact.

Pam is recovering strongly. She will soon be moving down to Florida to complete her rehab and be with her sister. She will be getting some much needed R&R (rest and rehab) just in time for the football season. We will make sure she gets the expanded cable to get all the games.

2 Months to College Football

7/2/2012

The Devil came down to Georgia

The Devil made a small stop in Georgia last night as we gathered to knock back some of his fiendish brew. Add in some cigars and the trip to our ultimate demise took yet another short cut. Chris set up his patented swamp cooler (two fans blowing over a cooler full of ice) taking some of the edge off a brutally hot night.

The conversation sauntered at a leisurely pace as we discussed all topics small and banal. The value of the conversation relying more on the camaraderie than the content. As I was about to start into my second four finger pour, the honorific chairmanship of the discussion rotated to me.

Seeing how the group consisted entirely of members of the Whiskey Swilling Cigar Chomping Football Society (and Glee Club) I decided to bring up some very important recent college football information. No, not the new playoff (though it was discussed at length). Much more important than that. It was the news that Erin Andrews will be moving from ESPN to Fox (a now rather appropriate network name). The move will have a definite impact on the choice of TV viewing during the upcoming season.

4 Months to GO JUMBO

6/20/2012

People couldn't wait to get in their first bets of the season

Well – actually 4 months and 1 week. But I figured that I would get some of the latest info out there rather than wait a week.

There were about 100 time and broadcast updates last week (all of which I have updated, of course). But the more interesting stuff came out yesterday!

The Golden Nugget released opening lines for 111 of the biggest games of the year. Despite the sweltering Las Vegas summer heat, hundreds of my fellow football degenerates lined up to make their first bets of the year. The rules were somewhat draconian. You could make up to three bets for $1,000 each and then had to go to the back of the line 50 deep. It took hours for all the early bets to be made and with it a few lines actually moved.

And it appears that the public is into their second barrel of the Michigan Kool-Aid. The line for their opener against the defending champs – Alabama was pushed down from Bama -12.5 to -10. Hate to say it but I may be rolling tide over Labor Day.

But the biggest surprise line (to me at least) is the GO JUMBO line of Michigan -6 vs MSU. Are you kidding?? If that line holds I’ll be swearing off the points and going straight to the money line. At that kind of spread the money line should be around +200 (bet $100 win $200).

Some other interesting GO JUMBO weekend spreads are Texas -11.0 versus Baylor. Still liking that this is a revenge match for the Longhorns at home. Baylor has a lot of retooling to do this year.

3 Months to College Football!!

6/1/2012

The Ladies enjoyed the fine comforts of Bruce's home

College Football is only 3 months away!!

I spent the Memorial Day weekend remembering our heroes and partying with the gang and their graduating seniors. Bruce had a great party for his son. The menfolk stayed mainly outside smoking some fine cigars while the women stayed to themselves discussing our various faults. By the time it was done I could see the cows coming home in the distance.

And Dan had another party to christen the latest addition to the Scallywag Slats including a gazebo and decorative LED lights. It was a stone groove man!

Our Las Vegas Hotel came out with the Win total lines for the NFL. Last year Pat and I cleaned up on the Lions and Spartans. This year the lines are




                            2012                   2011 Record
Over Under           Wins   Team            W    L       B/(W)
110     -130          6.5     Arizona         8     8        -1.5
-130     110           9.0      Atlanta        10     6        -1.0
110     -130         10.0      Baltimore     12     4         -2.0
110     -130           7.5      Buffalo          6    10          1.5
-120    Even          7.5     Carolina        6     10         1.5
-110     -110          9.0     Chicago         8      8          1.0
-110     -110          8.0     Cincinnati       9      7         -1.0
-120    Even          4.5      Cleveland      4   12          0.5
-140      120          8.5     Dallas           8      8          0.5
-150      130          8.5     Denver           8      8          0.5
-120    Even          9.0    Detroit           10      6         -1.0
-120    Even        12.0    Green Bay     15      1         -3.0
-145      125         9.5     Houston        10      6         -0.5
-130      110         5.0     Indianapolis     2    14          3.0
120      -140         5.0    Jacksonville      5    11          0.0
110      -130         8.0    Kansas City    7     9          1.0
Even     -120        7.5     Miami             6    10          1.5
Even     -120        6.0     Minnesota       3    13          3.0
Even     -120      12.5     New England  13     3         -0.5
-110     -110        9.5     New Orleans   13     3        -3.5
-130      110        8.5     NY Giants        9     7        -0.5
-145      125        8.5     NY Jets           8      8        0.5
130      -150        7.5     Oakland           8      8        -0.5
-120    Even       10.5     Philadelphia     8      8         2.5
140     -160        10.5     Pittsburgh      12      4        -1.5
110     -130         9.0      San Diego       8      8         1.0
-140     120         9.5     San Francisco 13      3         -3.5
120     -140         7.0     Seattle             7       9          0.0
115     -135         5.5     St Louis           2     14         3.5
-155     135         5.0     Tampa Bay       4     12        1.0
115    -135        7.5      Tennessee       9      7        -1.5
Even    -120        6.0     Washington      5     11         1.0
Totals             258.0                     256.0   256.0