The festivities started out Friday as we had a preparty for the cool guys (plus Dobby) to watch MSU break the Broncos of Boise State 17-13. MSU’s defense was outstanding holding Boise to its lowest offensive output ever under HC Chris Petersen (37 yds rushing and 206 yards total) and keeping the Bronco offense out of the end zone for the first time since 1997. Meanwhile, Le’veon Bell moved up the Heisman watch standings by rushing for 210 yards with 265 total yards against a solid BSU defense. Let’s hope they don’t overuse Le’veon like they did Javon Ringer back in 2009. Le'Veon is leaping up the Heisman charts.
On Saturday the place really got rocking as we gathered for an all day football watching, whiskey swilling, cigar chomping extravaganza. So many deviants showed up that we had to set up auxiliary seating and extra TVs just so everyone could see the games. Rock called that the ”seat back” rules would not be in affect causing everyone to hold on until their bladders were about to burst.
By now our lighters were running low on fuel. Being the nice guy that I am I risked a pretty sweet sitting spot and went inside and got some butane. For whatever reason as soon as people put the butane in their lighters they stopped working entirely. I’ve been accused of having bad gas before but never in my lighters.
Luckily, some of the revelers still had functioning torches as the best games were still to come. The evening games were outstanding with a back and forth bout between Clemson and Auburn with Clemson pulling it out in the 4th quarter 26-19 (sorry Zac we were pulling for ya). And then came the best game of the weekend:
Alabama 41 Michigan 14 – Turns out that the Bama coaching staff spent some time over the summer picking the brains of the MSU staff about how they were able to bottle up Denard Robinson. Keep him moving inside the pocket and then force him to throw was the advice. He’s a terrible passer. It worked to perfection as Shoelaces was 11 for 26 with 2 picks through the air and 27 yards rushing. Meanwhile, the Tide OL was gashing the outmanned UM defensive line for total of 431 yards. Michigan was way overrated at number 8 and still is at 19. Lots of Wolverine losses still to come! Bama easily covered the 14 point spread WIN
But I should have gone with my gut and kept to one Mega Bet last weekend. But I put a couple of more out there that I didn’t have as good a feel for and it showed as:
Duke 46 Florida International 26 – FIU may have returned almost all their defense but they must have forgotten how to play. Duke won on some fluke plays including a 75 yards blocked kick return for a TD the last play of the first half and a 98 yd pick six with 1:19 left in the game. FIU actually outgained 530 yds to 420 but stats are for losers and you shouldn’t be giving up 420 yds to Duke anyways. Blue Devils easily covered the 3 point spread LOSS
But as bad as that pick was the last one of the weekend was the worst
Baylor 59 SMU 24 – I knew SMU’s defense was bad but I thought their offense would be OK. Think again. SMU’s QB is Garret Gilbert. He was bad a Texas and is no better at SMU. SMU’s defense was even worse than last year giving up a whopping 613 yds. Baylor jumped out to a 45-3 lead and then coasted for the win easily covering the 10 point spread. Oh, well at least I got the over – LOSS
The point whore parlay almost got a win going 2-1 with
Wyoming +31.5 @ Texas – Final Texas 37 Wyoming 17 WIN
North Texas +43 @ LSU – Final 41 North Texas 14 (that score rings a bell) WIN
Western Michigan +10 @ Illinois – Final Illinois 24 WMU 7 LOSS (Illinois got the cover with a pick 6 with 9 minutes left in the game – I’m was getting killed with fluke plays all weekend!)
Overall I was a putrid 19-27-0 including 3-1 on the over/unders. The first couple of weeks are the hardest but here goes the:
Week 2 Mega Bets:
North Carolina -10.5 @ Wake Forest – OK Ellis, time to put up or shut up. Ellis was spouting off all weekend about his Tar Heels crushing Elon 62-0. But that was Elon. Let’s see how they do against a real program. Then again Wake needed a 4th quarter TD to pull out a 20-17 win over Liberty. Liberty actually outgained WtF 363 yds to 293 and was -1 in turnovers – yet they still almost pulled out the win. The Deacons are struggling behind a revamped OL and RS freshman QB. And this is no longer a defense first Tar Heel squad. With new HC Larry Fedora the Heels are putting up the points. They will continue to do so until they play a team with a pulse. I’ve been burned before by over reading the results of week one (Kansas bouncing back after losing to North Dakota St to beat Georgia Tech back in 2010 comes to mind) but I’ll take my chances on NC. If it doesn’t work out blame Ellis.
La Tech -3.5 @ Houston – Houston must really miss QB Case Keenum. Current Cougar QB David Piland was 2-6 when he subbed for Keenum back in 2010. Make that 2-7 as Houston was upset by new Div 1A entrant Texas State 30-13. Now they go up against an underrated La Tech squad. La Tech is the favorite to win the final season of the WAC. Not sure what to expect from La Tech as their first game was washed out by hurricane Issac but I think they will have enough to handle a reeling Houston squad.
And the NFL kicks off tonight so I’ll go with my first pro pick of the year with:
Houston – 12 vs Miami – Miami is just a disaster. They easily have the worst front office in the NFL (trading Brandon Marshall to Chicago for a pair of 3rd round picks? – thanks for that one!). Add to that they traded their best CB Vontae Davis to the Colts. The talent drain is getting to be like 30 minutes after putting in the Draino. Houston’s defense will be playing with rookie QB Ryan Tannehill all day while Andre Johnson will be abusing whatever is left of the Fin’s secondary. This one has blowout written all over it.
And for this weeks Point Whore Parlay I'll go with
Central Florida +18.0 @ Ohio State
Purdue +14 @ Notre Dame
Air Force +21 @ Michigan
And for all the Doofus’ picks plus spreads, times, networks and more for all the college and pro games click on the file below
"After a dismal preseason the big floppy is taking
Houston (the college version)
and Miami (the less criminal version)"
GO JUMBO Oct 20th at the LVH!!