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Week 1 Mega Bets

8/30/2012

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Don't know who to pick
It’s that time of year again! Time for some football. Enough of watching “Glee”, “So you think you can dance” and whatever other crap the gang likes to watch during the offseason. My booze consumption skyrocketed just trying to get through those lame shows. Time for some good old fashioned running around and smashing into people.

The Doofus deck is going to be packed all day Saturday as we gather to watch FOOTBALL on multiple TVs, knock back some adult beverages, feed on some less than healthy grub all while burning some fine cigars. Damn, I love football season. It’s about time.  

It’s also time to call your bookie and get ready to bet against the Doofus and his Mega Bets. It’s the first games of the season so who really knows how good teams are. Early season games are really a crap shoot but that doesn’t stop the Doofus. Nothing like getting all my bad picks out of the way before Vegas Baby! So without a whole lot to go on here are the Week 1 Mega Bets:

Alabama  -14.0 vs Michigan (Dallas, TX) – It’s just like old times. Michigan starts out the season wildly overrated. Coming off a win in an undeserved BCS game, expectations are high in Ann Arbor. But the Wolverines have plenty of flaws – starting with both the offensive and defensive lines. On Saturday they will line up against one of the best defensive lines in the country. Denard will be running for his life. And unlike the ND game last year – when the pressure is on and he does his chuck and duck – it won’ t go for a TD but for an interception. Bama will be playing with a short field all day crushing scUM. And if you think Saban won’t run up the score – think again. He had no problem crushing MSU two years ago - and he likes MSU. He hates Michigan. The Tide will roll big time.

SMU +10.0 @ Baylor – Baylor’s defense last year was terrible. It still is but RGIII is now gone so the wins are going to be much more difficult. Meanwhile SMU returns a terrible defense too but its high powered offense returns. Expect a high scoring back and forth game (I like the over too) with SMU making a late score to get the cover.

FIU +3.0 @ Duke – HC Mario Cristobal agreed to stick around at FIU for at least one more year despite several tempting offers at bigger programs (one was your Rutgers team Dobby). 10 starters return from a defense that yielded less than 20 points per game last year - making his team among the favorites to win the Sun Belt. Duke has improved  under David Cutcliffe but not very much. The Blue Devils still rummage around in the basement of the punchless  ACC. This is a revenge game for FIU having lost to Duke at home last year 31-27. The Golden Panthers will get there revenge and the Dookies will begin their wait for the start of basketball season even earlier this year. 

For the Point Whore Parlay (taking underdogs of at least 10 points or more on a parlay card) I’ll go with –

Wyoming +31.5 @ Texas
North Texas +43 @ LSU
Western Michigan +10 @ Illinois

And for the times, networks, results from last year, and picks for all the games click on the file below:

Week 1 Bettors Guide.xls
File Size: 198 kb
File Type: xls
Download File

And while you are waiting for the games to start Doofus Brother Mike sent along this funny link Funny ESPN Game Day signs

GO JUMBO Oct 20th at the LVH
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1 Week to College Football

8/25/2012

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Only one more week before the start of College Football!!

Some very fun and interesting news came out earlier this week. Back at the start of the 2007 season, Michigan embarrassed themselves as the first ranked Div 1A team to lose to a Div 1AA team. Expectations were high for the Wolvies as they were ranked number 5 only to lose to Appalachian State in the opener. Now there is a report that the Michigan players partied all summer, got high just before kickoff and never prepared for the game
Chumps of the West . What a great game!! And to relive that classic ending click here The Upset . Still got the T shirt!

And it’s the game that just keeps on giving. The next week Oregon ran wild over Michigan 39-7 leading the brainfart trust in Ann Arbor to determine that they needed to have a spread offense too. Out with Floyd Carr and in with DickRod. Ahh, the DickRod years.  Michigan was an absolute joke. Early season Heisman hopefuls, over rankings, horrid defenses. Man, that was just fun! Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving program.

Now they claim that they were high for the game. What a great excuse! Guess it shouldn’t count like when scUM fans say they DickRod years don’t count.

Chad Johnson’s butt buddy Terrell Owens is going to be shown the door up in Seattle. When you are the number 5 or 6 receiver seems like you should keep your mouth shut and work hard. Not T.O. He’s been his usual motor mouth self and then when it counts he drops 5 passes against Denver including a sure TD pass. Last night he drops two more against KC. Good riddance to the pair.


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2 Weeks until College Football

8/19/2012

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We are ... MD!!
Only 2 more weeks until college football. Won't be long now.

I let my conscience by my guide earlier this week and it led me straight to Ellis’ deck. I guess it needed a few glasses of single pot Irish Whiskey and a couple 56 ring Maduros too. I like my conscience. It never steers me wrong.  Most times it keeps me on the straight and narrow path but occasionally it likes to take the more scenic route.

The Dolphins continue to prove they are one of the biggest jokes in the NFL. Back in June the signed a real poison in the locker room, Chad “Don’t call me Ochocinco no more” Johnson. A few weeks later he was goofing with the head of security saying “Stu, I promise that I will get arrested”. Sure enough, last week, he was arrested for domestic battery. His wife, a reality “star” on Basketball Wives, confronted the rat bait receiver about a receipt for some condoms. It got heated and he headbutted her. What a guy! Apparently, the Fins got some common sense and released Chad. His planned reality show with his wife was also dropped. So he lost two paychecks in one day! Serves him right.

Details on Tyrann Mathieu’s release from LSU have started to surface. Apparently he failed multiple drug tests. Sources say that he is now entering drug rehab. They also deny it is for hard drugs only marijuana. I’ll call BS on that one. No one enters rehab for just weed. If so, Ricky Williams would have opened a whole chain of rehab joints.

Notre Dame released pictures of their 2012 “Shamrock Series” uniforms.  They will be using the unis when they play Miami (FL) at Soldier Field. Wow, just wow. I like what one fan posted “We are, MD!” referring to the butt ugly Maryland state flag unis. Mark has been strangely silent on the whole matter. He’s no dummy.

But speaking of dummies - Denard Robinson claims that he can beat Usain Bolt in the 40. The 60 would be about a tie - but at least he admits that the guy who has 6 of the fastest 8 times ever would win the 100. Um sorry shoelace, just cause he looks slow at the start against the fastest men in the world doesn't mean he is a slow starter. He would kick your ass in the 40, the 10 even the 2 yard dash. Denard is living a fantasy, much like those who think Michigan is a top ten team this year.

Remember GO JUMBO weekend is Oct 20th at the LVH hotel.


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3 weeks to College Football!!

8/11/2012

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The gang was sportin' the colors this week!
Only three more weeks to College Football

It was full FPC colors on Thursday!! Dan had decided that it had been too long since we had an official FPC outing. In fact, the last time we had one was to visit Ellis in the hospital.  So we decided to go to watch “The Watch” which had several scenes filmed around the ‘Hood – including much of it set in the old Costcos just down the road. Without giving away the ending – I always wondered what happened to the old Costcos – now we know.

 We went all out including wearing the official colors - a Lebowskiesque bowling shirt with logos.  Starting out with a warm up session of pitchers and cigars over at a local watering hole – we then proceeded over to the Movie Theatre. After flashing our gang signs (two fingers and a thumb around a corkscrew with a twisting motion) we went inside and had our pictures taken by the Manager. We thought he was doing us a favor but I think he kept a copy inside his office for his employees to keep an eye on in the future. 

The movie was a laugh riot! One of those ones you have to see several times to hear all the great lines. Definitely worth seeing again. Good times were had by all.

Now, given the recent happenings in Colorado seems like the last thing you would want to do around there is go around brandishing guns or even fake guns. But that didn’t stop several Colorado Buffs from driving around gangster style shooting pellet guns at each other. According to the local Boulder paper  “Around 2 a.m. Saturday, police were waved down near Broadway and Pennsylvania Avenue by a woman who said she saw a passenger in a silver sedan pointing a gun at another car.

Police caught up to the two vehicles -- a 1999 Audi A6 and a 2001 BMW X5, according to police records -- near Broadway and Canyon Boulevard. The officers responding called for backup.

Police said several of the men in the cars became immediately antagonistic with officers as they were ordered out of the vehicles at gunpoint. Officers said Thornton told officers, "Go ahead! Shoot me, mother (expletive)," "I can go wherever the (expletive) I want," and, "This is Boulder and you have your guns out?"



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4 Weeks until College Football!!

8/3/2012

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An unintentional haunting memorial to the cover up
Only four more weeks until College football kicks off! Can’t wait!

Time to get the PSU atrocity, Petrino’s motorcycle mistress, suspensions galore (including TCU’s QB and Clemson All America WR for getting stopped with Ganja in the car, while 5 players at Air Force,  4 players at Oklahoma, 3 players at Indiana, 2 players at Pitt, 2 at Notre Dame and many more for the standard “violating team rules”) plus running backs getting hospitalized in a brawl or arrested for carrying around loaded Lugars - put it all in the rear view mirror. Makes last year’s angst over schools changing conferences seem like a cake walk. Let’s get the season started already!!

But first – the NCAA handed down it penalties to PSU. Thankfully, it didn’t take them long. PSU was able to negotiate its way out of a 4 year death penalty
We'll take door number 2 opting instead for:


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