Don't know who to pick
It’s that time of year again! Time for some football. Enough of watching “Glee”, “So you think you can dance” and whatever other crap the gang likes to watch during the offseason. My booze consumption skyrocketed just trying to get through those lame shows. Time for some good old fashioned running around and smashing into people.
The Doofus deck is going to be packed all day Saturday as we gather to watch FOOTBALL on multiple TVs, knock back some adult beverages, feed on some less than healthy grub all while burning some fine cigars. Damn, I love football season. It’s about time.
It’s also time to call your bookie and get ready to bet against the Doofus and his Mega Bets. It’s the first games of the season so who really knows how good teams are. Early season games are really a crap shoot but that doesn’t stop the Doofus. Nothing like getting all my bad picks out of the way before Vegas Baby! So without a whole lot to go on here are the Week 1 Mega Bets:
Alabama -14.0 vs Michigan (Dallas, TX) – It’s just like old times. Michigan starts out the season wildly overrated. Coming off a win in an undeserved BCS game, expectations are high in Ann Arbor. But the Wolverines have plenty of flaws – starting with both the offensive and defensive lines. On Saturday they will line up against one of the best defensive lines in the country. Denard will be running for his life. And unlike the ND game last year – when the pressure is on and he does his chuck and duck – it won’ t go for a TD but for an interception. Bama will be playing with a short field all day crushing scUM. And if you think Saban won’t run up the score – think again. He had no problem crushing MSU two years ago - and he likes MSU. He hates Michigan. The Tide will roll big time.
SMU +10.0 @ Baylor – Baylor’s defense last year was terrible. It still is but RGIII is now gone so the wins are going to be much more difficult. Meanwhile SMU returns a terrible defense too but its high powered offense returns. Expect a high scoring back and forth game (I like the over too) with SMU making a late score to get the cover.
FIU +3.0 @ Duke – HC Mario Cristobal agreed to stick around at FIU for at least one more year despite several tempting offers at bigger programs (one was your Rutgers team Dobby). 10 starters return from a defense that yielded less than 20 points per game last year - making his team among the favorites to win the Sun Belt. Duke has improved under David Cutcliffe but not very much. The Blue Devils still rummage around in the basement of the punchless ACC. This is a revenge game for FIU having lost to Duke at home last year 31-27. The Golden Panthers will get there revenge and the Dookies will begin their wait for the start of basketball season even earlier this year.
For the Point Whore Parlay (taking underdogs of at least 10 points or more on a parlay card) I’ll go with –
Wyoming +31.5 @ Texas
North Texas +43 @ LSU
Western Michigan +10 @ Illinois
And for the times, networks, results from last year, and picks for all the games click on the file below:
The Doofus deck is going to be packed all day Saturday as we gather to watch FOOTBALL on multiple TVs, knock back some adult beverages, feed on some less than healthy grub all while burning some fine cigars. Damn, I love football season. It’s about time.
It’s also time to call your bookie and get ready to bet against the Doofus and his Mega Bets. It’s the first games of the season so who really knows how good teams are. Early season games are really a crap shoot but that doesn’t stop the Doofus. Nothing like getting all my bad picks out of the way before Vegas Baby! So without a whole lot to go on here are the Week 1 Mega Bets:
Alabama -14.0 vs Michigan (Dallas, TX) – It’s just like old times. Michigan starts out the season wildly overrated. Coming off a win in an undeserved BCS game, expectations are high in Ann Arbor. But the Wolverines have plenty of flaws – starting with both the offensive and defensive lines. On Saturday they will line up against one of the best defensive lines in the country. Denard will be running for his life. And unlike the ND game last year – when the pressure is on and he does his chuck and duck – it won’ t go for a TD but for an interception. Bama will be playing with a short field all day crushing scUM. And if you think Saban won’t run up the score – think again. He had no problem crushing MSU two years ago - and he likes MSU. He hates Michigan. The Tide will roll big time.
SMU +10.0 @ Baylor – Baylor’s defense last year was terrible. It still is but RGIII is now gone so the wins are going to be much more difficult. Meanwhile SMU returns a terrible defense too but its high powered offense returns. Expect a high scoring back and forth game (I like the over too) with SMU making a late score to get the cover.
FIU +3.0 @ Duke – HC Mario Cristobal agreed to stick around at FIU for at least one more year despite several tempting offers at bigger programs (one was your Rutgers team Dobby). 10 starters return from a defense that yielded less than 20 points per game last year - making his team among the favorites to win the Sun Belt. Duke has improved under David Cutcliffe but not very much. The Blue Devils still rummage around in the basement of the punchless ACC. This is a revenge game for FIU having lost to Duke at home last year 31-27. The Golden Panthers will get there revenge and the Dookies will begin their wait for the start of basketball season even earlier this year.
For the Point Whore Parlay (taking underdogs of at least 10 points or more on a parlay card) I’ll go with –
Wyoming +31.5 @ Texas
North Texas +43 @ LSU
Western Michigan +10 @ Illinois
And for the times, networks, results from last year, and picks for all the games click on the file below:
| Week 1 Bettors Guide.xls |
And while you are waiting for the games to start Doofus Brother Mike sent along this funny link Funny ESPN Game Day signs
GO JUMBO Oct 20th at the LVH
GO JUMBO Oct 20th at the LVH
RSS Feed
