Mega Bets

Week 6 - 2 Weeks to Vegas Baby!!

10/11/2012

The Doofus was feeling pretty good on Saturday

Only two weeks to Vegas Baby!!

The Doofus ordered a bunch of cigars on line to stock up for the weekend. Unfortunately, I was travelling so the cigars got home before I did. Mrs. Doofus opened up the package and I got my annual admonition about health, money and the stench. Seems as though the cigar stench is worse than my every day stench. Who knew?

The Doofus had some real mixed results last weekend. On Saturday, The Big Book of Guesses sent up some pretty good picks going 28-22-1 and the Doofus took it home - going 2-0 with:

Mizzou 21 Central Florida 16 – I figured this would be a defensive slug fest and it was. UCF was leading 10-7 when Missouri broke the game open midway through the 3rd quarter with a 66 punt return for a TD. Nice. Another TD in the fourth quarter clinched it for the Tigers as they held on to win outright (didn’t need the three points after all). Sometimes Vegas just hands out little presents under the tree. A competent SEC team getting 3 against a CUSA team? Gift. Thank you. WIN

La Tech 44 Virginia 38 – Laying the three points on La Tech looked like it may be in trouble when the Cavaliers took a 24-10 lead midway through the 2nd quarter. But then the Bulldogs went off – scoring 34 straight points to take a 44-24 lead. Virginia tried to get a back door cover by scoring 2 TDs late but it wasn’t enough. The Bulldogs continue to rack up the points. The 44 points for La Tech is their lowest output on the season. La Tech QB Colby Cameron now has 12 TD passes with no interceptions. Keep an eye on the Bulldogs for the GO JUMBO weekend. They host an awful Idaho team - should be a blow out. WIN

Week 5 Mega Bets

9/27/2012

The Intercompletion

Oh Man, those NFL replacement refs suck! They have been missing calls but in week 3 they took it to another level. They finally cost a team a game. And not just any team but the Packers on Monday night football.

I’ve seen estimates that as much as $150 million to $1 billion changed hands (mainly from bettors to the casinos) as a result of the last play of the Packers Seahawks game. To recap, Green Bay led Seattle 12-7 (the Pack was covering the 3.5 spread) when Seattle throws up a Hail Mary pass. The ball makes it to the end zone and then the chaos ensued.

A pile of Packers and Seahawks jump for the ball but Green Bay DB Jennings appeared to have intercepted the ball – grabbing it as Seattle WR Golden Tate (a Domer no less) gets a hand on it. One ref ruled that Tate had joint possession and a TD while another ruled it incomplete. The play went to the replay ref. A full 10 minutes! goes by while the refs review it. And then they still blow the call – ruling it a Seattle TD. Totally blown call

Week 4 Mega Bets

9/20/2012

The Irish fans were dancing last week

Ooooof – that hurt. Notre Dame went all Archie Bunker on MSU as they stifled Sparty 20-3. And just like that the Big Ten is out of the National Championship hunt.

Southern Cal also stepped on their organ of regeneration with a loss to Stanford leaving only a handful of teams have a realistic shot at the MNC. The winner of Clemson / Florida State could go from the ACC, Oklahoma has a shot but needs a statement win (Texas – maybe) and perhaps Notre Dame if they clear the table. Oregon also has a chance but we seen what the Quack attack does against the SEC in back to back losses to Auburn and LSU.

In reality, if LSU and Bama stay unbeaten – other than the loss in their head to head – it looks like we are headed to a rematch. That would make for the two teams playing each other 4 times in two years. Not sure if that has ever happened before.

And John L “Slappy” Smith added another classic goofy moment with the "SMILE"

The Big Book of Guesses had another lousy week going 30-41-3. But the Doofus was smiling as he continued his winning ways - going 2-1 with the Mega Bets as:

The Wildcat strut

Northwestern 22 Boston College 13 – The Wildcats were moving the ball but only getting field goals. With 3 minutes left in the game, Northwestern led 15 to 13 when they downed a punt at the BC 1 yard line. BC went 3 and out punting the ball back to NU at the BC 44. Four plays later the Cats were in the end zone for the clinching score and the 3.5 point cover. Whew, a little too close for comfort but I’ll take the WIN

Best part is I get to see Bruce do his awkward old bald guy Wildcat strut for another week. Go Cats! 3-0 baby!

Utah 24 BYU 21 – This was a wild game. After three quarters Utah led 24-7 and I figured taking BYU and giving 4 was down the porcelain throne. But BYU rallied with two fourth quarter TDs to get within three. Then the fun really kicked in.

BYU drove to the Utah 34 yard line with seconds remaining in the game. A third down pass was incomplete and it looked like time had run out. Nuts. But the refs ruled there was one second left. All right baby! Kick a 51 yd FG and maybe we can get the cover in OT. Damn - the FG was blocked. Wait a minute – what’s this? - penalty on Utah!! The fans had run on the field too early and the Utes were assessed a 15 yd unsportsmanlike. Holy crap Batman! Now it’s only a 36 yarder to go into OT. So what does the BYU kicker do? – doinks it off the left upright. Game over LOSS

Philadelphia 24 Baltimore 23 – Philly continues to win despite Michael Vick. He threw two more INTs on Sunday making it six so far this year. Midway through the 4th quarter, Baltimore went on a nice 5 minute drive kicking a FG to go up 23-17 with 4:43 left.

I was feeling pretty good since even if Philly got a TD they would still only lead by one with little time left. Baltimore would either then get the ball back, score win and cover or Philly would get the ball back and go into a victory formation still leaving me with a Baltimore +2.5 cover. Sure enough Vick leads the Eagle on a nice drive and gets the go ahead TD. Baltimore stalled at their 46 and Philly sits on it to win.

As bad as Vick was Flacco was worse. Chowderhead Joe couldn’t hit an open receiver and kept throwing into tight coverage. Only difference was Philly didn’t pick him off. If Flacco was even half way accurate this would have been a blow out WIN

Week 3 Mega Bets

9/12/2012

The Big Ten exposed their BVDs last week

The Big Ten embarrassed themselves last weekend. If week 1 was going around with your fly unzipped at your wife’s euchre party – then week two – while short of a full pantsing – people could sure tell what brand of underwear you had on. Some of the not so great moments included:

Penn State’s kicker missed not one, nor two field goals but 4 including the potential game winner with one second left. His missed extra point proved to be the margin of victory in a 17-16 loss to Virginia.

Iowa QB James Vandenberg threw his second pick of the game with 1:11 left to seal the defeat against Iowa State in an ugly 9-6 loss.

Notre Dame kicked a FG with 7 seconds left to beat Purdue.

Nebraska was run over – letting up 653 yards in a 36-30 loss to UCLA. Andy was high on UCLA – figuring that they would easily cover the 6.5 season win total. His prediction is looking pretty good right now.

A bigger embarrassment was Wisconsin. After a way too close win over Northern Iowa in week 1, Bucky was expected to come out fired up and run the ball down a struggling Oregon State team. But for some unknown reason, Wisky HC Bret Beilema decided that the best way to beat the Beavers was through the air rather than with star running back Monte Ball. Wisconsin ran for on 35 yards and didn’t score until 1:31 left in the game in a pathetic 10-7 loss to Oregon State. After the game Bielema decided that the fault lay – not with the game plan - but with new OL coach Mark Markuson. “We decided to move on,” Bielema said “It was really something that wasn’t a knee-jerk thing by me.” 2 weeks into the season and it’s not a knee-jerk thing? Take out the knee and you have Bielema.

But the biggest embarrassment was not in the Big Ten but by a former Big Ten head coach down in the SEC. Arkansas HC John L "Slappy" Smith The Slap officially filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy on Thurday and then led his 8th ranked Hog squad to a 34-31 loss to UL Monroe. With the loss, Arkansas dropped out of the rankings. It was the biggest drop in the polls since scUM lost to App State. That game just keeps on giving!

With Michigan State putting a workman like 41-7 beat down on Central Michigan - it’s starting to look like the Big 10 is Big 1 Little 11. MSU’s defense held Central scoreless (their lone TD was a pick 6 with 1:39 left in the game). MSU’s defense has not let up a TD all year. That will be tested with Notre Dame coming to East Lansing Saturday night.

And the Big Book of Guesses was showing their Fruit of the Loom tag too going 28-38 in week 2 including a dismal 5-11 in the NFL. But it’s not how you pick ‘em – it’s how you bet ‘em that really matters. And the BBofG did much better there going 2-1 on the Mega Bets as:

Week 2 Mega Bets

9/5/2012

The Doofus Deck was rocking

The Doofus Deck was partying all weekend!!

The festivities started out Friday as we had a preparty for the cool guys (plus Dobby) to watch MSU break the Broncos of Boise State 17-13. MSU’s defense was outstanding holding Boise to its lowest offensive output ever under HC Chris Petersen (37 yds rushing and 206 yards total) and keeping the Bronco offense out of the end zone for the first time since 1997. Meanwhile, Le’veon Bell moved up the Heisman watch standings by rushing for 210 yards with 265 total yards against a solid BSU defense. Let’s hope they don’t overuse Le’veon like they did Javon Ringer back in 2009. Le'Veon is leaping up the Heisman charts.

On Saturday the place really got rocking as we gathered for an all day football watching, whiskey swilling, cigar chomping extravaganza. So many deviants showed up that we had to set up auxiliary seating and extra TVs just so everyone could see the games. Rock called that the ”seat back” rules would not be in affect causing everyone to hold on until their bladders were about to burst.

Week 1 Mega Bets

8/30/2012

Don't know who to pick

It’s that time of year again! Time for some football. Enough of watching “Glee”, “So you think you can dance” and whatever other crap the gang likes to watch during the offseason. My booze consumption skyrocketed just trying to get through those lame shows. Time for some good old fashioned running around and smashing into people.

The Doofus deck is going to be packed all day Saturday as we gather to watch FOOTBALL on multiple TVs, knock back some adult beverages, feed on some less than healthy grub all while burning some fine cigars. Damn, I love football season. It’s about time.

It’s also time to call your bookie and get ready to bet against the Doofus and his Mega Bets. It’s the first games of the season so who really knows how good teams are. Early season games are really a crap shoot but that doesn’t stop the Doofus. Nothing like getting all my bad picks out of the way before Vegas Baby! So without a whole lot to go on here are the Week 1 Mega Bets:

Alabama -14.0 vs Michigan (Dallas, TX) – It’s just like old times. Michigan starts out the season wildly overrated. Coming off a win in an undeserved BCS game, expectations are high in Ann Arbor. But the Wolverines have plenty of flaws – starting with both the offensive and defensive lines. On Saturday they will line up against one of the best defensive lines in the country. Denard will be running for his life. And unlike the ND game last year – when the pressure is on and he does his chuck and duck – it won’ t go for a TD but for an interception. Bama will be playing with a short field all day crushing scUM. And if you think Saban won’t run up the score – think again. He had no problem crushing MSU two years ago - and he likes MSU. He hates Michigan. The Tide will roll big time.

SMU +10.0 @ Baylor – Baylor’s defense last year was terrible. It still is but RGIII is now gone so the wins are going to be much more difficult. Meanwhile SMU returns a terrible defense too but its high powered offense returns. Expect a high scoring back and forth game (I like the over too) with SMU making a late score to get the cover.

FIU +3.0 @ Duke – HC Mario Cristobal agreed to stick around at FIU for at least one more year despite several tempting offers at bigger programs (one was your Rutgers team Dobby). 10 starters return from a defense that yielded less than 20 points per game last year - making his team among the favorites to win the Sun Belt. Duke has improved under David Cutcliffe but not very much. The Blue Devils still rummage around in the basement of the punchless ACC. This is a revenge game for FIU having lost to Duke at home last year 31-27. The Golden Panthers will get there revenge and the Dookies will begin their wait for the start of basketball season even earlier this year.

For the Point Whore Parlay (taking underdogs of at least 10 points or more on a parlay card) I’ll go with –

Wyoming +31.5 @ Texas
North Texas +43 @ LSU
Western Michigan +10 @ Illinois

And for the times, networks, results from last year, and picks for all the games click on the file below:

Week 1 Bettors Guide.xls
File Size:	198 kb
File Type:	xls

And while you are waiting for the games to start Doofus Brother Mike sent along this funny link Funny ESPN Game Day signs

GO JUMBO Oct 20th at the LVH

1 Week to College Football

8/25/2012

Only one more week before the start of College Football!!

Some very fun and interesting news came out earlier this week. Back at the start of the 2007 season, Michigan embarrassed themselves as the first ranked Div 1A team to lose to a Div 1AA team. Expectations were high for the Wolvies as they were ranked number 5 only to lose to Appalachian State in the opener. Now there is a report that the Michigan players partied all summer, got high just before kickoff and never prepared for the game Chumps of the West . What a great game!! And to relive that classic ending click here The Upset . Still got the T shirt!

And it’s the game that just keeps on giving. The next week Oregon ran wild over Michigan 39-7 leading the brainfart trust in Ann Arbor to determine that they needed to have a spread offense too. Out with Floyd Carr and in with DickRod. Ahh, the DickRod years. Michigan was an absolute joke. Early season Heisman hopefuls, over rankings, horrid defenses. Man, that was just fun! Couldn’t have happened to a more deserving program.

Now they claim that they were high for the game. What a great excuse! Guess it shouldn’t count like when scUM fans say they DickRod years don’t count.

Chad Johnson’s butt buddy Terrell Owens is going to be shown the door up in Seattle. When you are the number 5 or 6 receiver seems like you should keep your mouth shut and work hard. Not T.O. He’s been his usual motor mouth self and then when it counts he drops 5 passes against Denver including a sure TD pass. Last night he drops two more against KC. Good riddance to the pair.

2 Weeks until College Football

8/19/2012

We are ... MD!!

Only 2 more weeks until college football. Won't be long now.

I let my conscience by my guide earlier this week and it led me straight to Ellis’ deck. I guess it needed a few glasses of single pot Irish Whiskey and a couple 56 ring Maduros too. I like my conscience. It never steers me wrong. Most times it keeps me on the straight and narrow path but occasionally it likes to take the more scenic route.

The Dolphins continue to prove they are one of the biggest jokes in the NFL. Back in June the signed a real poison in the locker room, Chad “Don’t call me Ochocinco no more” Johnson. A few weeks later he was goofing with the head of security saying “Stu, I promise that I will get arrested”. Sure enough, last week, he was arrested for domestic battery. His wife, a reality “star” on Basketball Wives, confronted the rat bait receiver about a receipt for some condoms. It got heated and he headbutted her. What a guy! Apparently, the Fins got some common sense and released Chad. His planned reality show with his wife was also dropped. So he lost two paychecks in one day! Serves him right.

Details on Tyrann Mathieu’s release from LSU have started to surface. Apparently he failed multiple drug tests. Sources say that he is now entering drug rehab. They also deny it is for hard drugs only marijuana. I’ll call BS on that one. No one enters rehab for just weed. If so, Ricky Williams would have opened a whole chain of rehab joints.

Notre Dame released pictures of their 2012 “Shamrock Series” uniforms. They will be using the unis when they play Miami (FL) at Soldier Field. Wow, just wow. I like what one fan posted “We are, MD!” referring to the butt ugly Maryland state flag unis. Mark has been strangely silent on the whole matter. He’s no dummy.

But speaking of dummies - Denard Robinson claims that he can beat Usain Bolt in the 40. The 60 would be about a tie - but at least he admits that the guy who has 6 of the fastest 8 times ever would win the 100. Um sorry shoelace, just cause he looks slow at the start against the fastest men in the world doesn't mean he is a slow starter. He would kick your ass in the 40, the 10 even the 2 yard dash. Denard is living a fantasy, much like those who think Michigan is a top ten team this year.

Remember GO JUMBO weekend is Oct 20th at the LVH hotel.

3 weeks to College Football!!

8/11/2012

The gang was sportin' the colors this week!

Only three more weeks to College Football

It was full FPC colors on Thursday!! Dan had decided that it had been too long since we had an official FPC outing. In fact, the last time we had one was to visit Ellis in the hospital. So we decided to go to watch “The Watch” which had several scenes filmed around the ‘Hood – including much of it set in the old Costcos just down the road. Without giving away the ending – I always wondered what happened to the old Costcos – now we know.

We went all out including wearing the official colors - a Lebowskiesque bowling shirt with logos. Starting out with a warm up session of pitchers and cigars over at a local watering hole – we then proceeded over to the Movie Theatre. After flashing our gang signs (two fingers and a thumb around a corkscrew with a twisting motion) we went inside and had our pictures taken by the Manager. We thought he was doing us a favor but I think he kept a copy inside his office for his employees to keep an eye on in the future.

The movie was a laugh riot! One of those ones you have to see several times to hear all the great lines. Definitely worth seeing again. Good times were had by all.

Now, given the recent happenings in Colorado seems like the last thing you would want to do around there is go around brandishing guns or even fake guns. But that didn’t stop several Colorado Buffs from driving around gangster style shooting pellet guns at each other. According to the local Boulder paper “Around 2 a.m. Saturday, police were waved down near Broadway and Pennsylvania Avenue by a woman who said she saw a passenger in a silver sedan pointing a gun at another car.

Police caught up to the two vehicles -- a 1999 Audi A6 and a 2001 BMW X5, according to police records -- near Broadway and Canyon Boulevard. The officers responding called for backup.

Police said several of the men in the cars became immediately antagonistic with officers as they were ordered out of the vehicles at gunpoint. Officers said Thornton told officers, "Go ahead! Shoot me, mother (expletive)," "I can go wherever the (expletive) I want," and, "This is Boulder and you have your guns out?"

4 Weeks until College Football!!

8/3/2012

An unintentional haunting memorial to the cover up

Only four more weeks until College football kicks off! Can’t wait!

Time to get the PSU atrocity, Petrino’s motorcycle mistress, suspensions galore (including TCU’s QB and Clemson All America WR for getting stopped with Ganja in the car, while 5 players at Air Force, 4 players at Oklahoma, 3 players at Indiana, 2 players at Pitt, 2 at Notre Dame and many more for the standard “violating team rules”) plus running backs getting hospitalized in a brawl or arrested for carrying around loaded Lugars - put it all in the rear view mirror. Makes last year’s angst over schools changing conferences seem like a cake walk. Let’s get the season started already!!

But first – the NCAA handed down it penalties to PSU. Thankfully, it didn’t take them long. PSU was able to negotiate its way out of a 4 year death penalty We'll take door number 2 opting instead for: