So here's a recap. Accuracy in this story will be strictly maintained unless it is better with a little embellishment or helps the storyline. All recollectons are subject to beer, vodka tonic and cigar induced haze.
Friday started in typical Drunken Bum fashion. Woz, Pete and Pat were on the same flight from Detroit to LV. On their drives down - Pete and Pat got a call from Woz asking where they were as he was on the plane and they were closing the doors. After a moment of sheer panic by Pete and Pat - it turns out Woz had
booked an earlier flight without realizing it.
Upon landing in VEGAS BABY the four of us went to Old Vegas to go see the Pawn Stars (History Channel Mondays at 10pm) store. The Old Man was behind the counter and let Pete snap his picture as long as he never stepped foot in the store again. Rick was in the back filming a new episode. Woz tried to sneak back there but was easily pushed away by a couple of fairly small female security guards.
On the way back we passed several bail bond places and the local jail. We also went by the famous Wedding Chapel. Pat went back to the bail bond emporiums and local drunk tank looking for a spousal candidates but was turned down each time. Pat thought he got a nibble from one wench but I thought it was just a good healthy burp. So we went back to the Wedding Chapel and took pictures of the Chapel and the three Elvisses (Elvi?) posing out front.
Pete was pissed that he left his Elvis suit back at home.
Our server, Caril, was apparently one of Bugsy Segal's original hires and had some pretty bad hand tremors. It got to the point that we had to ask for our beers unshaken. Pat made another attempt for a trip to the Wedding Chapel but was rebuffed yet again.
Fuss was scolded into showing up after a lame attempt to be a no-show. By the time he did show up we were 4 1/2 sheets to the wind and long passed out in our rooms - Sorry Fuss. But hey - next time don't show up so late!
Saturday started out with the usual drill of claiming seats in the Sports Book around 7am local time. Still having a good buzz from the previous night going - we tried to remember all the great predictions we made from the night before and then tag teamed it into the buffet. Joe and I were the last ones in and we were finishing up eating way too much prime rib when Pete texted that the Spartans were up 7-0. Crap - lost track of time! Racing out (and probably
stiffing the waiter) we sat down from the start of a crapload of football watching.
FFDY! Doesn't get any better than this. Football on a dozen 8 foot TV screens, cigars, free drinks and putting your money where your mouth is. The Spartans pulled out a dramatic comeback - winning 40-37 after being down 11 points in the 4th quarter. The Big Book of Guesses MEGA BETTING had a great start going 4-0 on the
morning and afternoon bets. The Badgers smoked the Wolverines 45-24 while giving only 8.5. Georgia Tech gave Duke 12.5 and then proceeded to roll them 49-10. Clemson gave 8.0 to NC State winning 43-23. While Kentucky gave Vandy 3 points and then flushed the Commodes 24-13. Just a great day for College Football!!
Tom and Paul were the surprise guests for the day. Tom made some pretty good money on the slots. Paul was running around on a little scooter as he had "Jones" fractured his toe on a treadmill. We were pretty impressed that he could fracture his Jones while jogging. As Pete says though - no good ever comes from exercising.
Paul did violate one cardinal rule - he brought his wife Debbie to the Sportsbook. A special Committee has been formed to determine the appropriate punishment. In the meantime - all Drunken Bums are advised to shum Paul until further notice.
We went over to the Rio to check out their sportsbook and to watch the evening football games. The Rio sportsbook was a dump. They had one main screen that made the old Gathering Place projection screen look like HiDef. There was one redeeming quality though- the waitresses were easy on the eye (eyes for the rest of you) and wearing nice scimpy outfits. Pat came back to report that every half hour they play some music and a waitress will get on top of some slot machines and do a nice shimmy. We were like Pavlov's dogs over to the slots every time we heard music.
For the Final MegaBet the BBofG had Pitt laying 6.5 vs Notre Dame. Pitt was leading by 5 late in the game and was in the Red Zone needing a chip shot field goal to cover. Wannstedt calls up the victory formation. Triple Crap!! I got
The Big Book of Guesses ended up 4-2 for the weekend and made a nice tidy profit for he day. Woz was 14-5 on three different parlays but took a double Wannstedt to blow up two parlays. The Big Flippy had a nice 6-4 record during the practice weeks but went limp when the pressure was on going 4-6 for the day. The only losing player for the day was the Big Flippy.
Shortly after the Pitt game the music came on so we hustled over to the shimmy slots only to see a guy up there doing some bad renditions of old tunes. We scooted back to the Hilton leaving Pat behind trying to pick up the singer.
Back at the Hilton - Caril was our server again so we switched to mixed drinks. Pat showed up unsuccessful again. Tom went back to winning at slots. Paul had taken Debbie to see Santana for the second night in a row (can't beat
free), Fuss had left to try and wheel and deal some potential clients - while the rest of us exaggerated our picking prowess, talked about our upcoming NFL picks and then called it a night.
Sunday started with the same drill of claiming seats and hitting the buffet. Shortly before the games started a part man, part women, part Muppet with bad teeth was bitching loudly to anyone that would listen (i.e. no one) about
the last few minutes of the Pitt/ND game. He must have taken a real big Wannstedt.
The BBoG was perfect for the morning NFL games - perfectly awful. It went 0-3 on straight up games and 0-4 on an over/under parlay card. The afternoon games were no better going 0-2 straight up and 1-3 on a parlay. Everyone else did slightly better but still lost overall. Let's just disband the NFL now and put an end to this agony. Screw the
The final game of the day will be remembered for years as NE went for it on 4th down deep in their own territory late in the game - came up short and let Indy win. The good news was that NE covered anyways and the BBoG got its
only pro game win of the day. It also made a Pete bet by taking East Carolina intending to take Tulsa but winning the final college game of the weekend anyways.
Pete, Pat and Woz caught the red eye Sunday night, Tom won some more on the slots and was asked to check into another hotel, Paul had been thrown out of the Hilton for the sportsbook incident while Mike and I stayed over to Monday playing Soprano and Monopoly slots.
A great weekend in Vegas - See you next year!