We lost a great husband. great father and truly great friend this week. Ellis left us. We are still in shock. The loss has been overwhelming. I've been welling up all week trying to find the strength to write this.
I was on the phone with Mrs Doofus, when Chris called, called again and then left a message. Being a Monday and the persistence, I knew it wasn't an invite to the Outdoor Ampitheatre. Something must be up. And I figured it must be be about Ellis. He has been ailing and in pain for for far too long.
"You sitting down?"
"Yup"
"Ellis is gone."
I was dumbstruck. I figured the call was to say he was in the hospital and we were to gather to wish him a speedy recovery or at worst to say goodbye. Not this. No chance to prepare. No chance to see him laugh and smile one more time. No chance to say goodbye.
Chris has been amazing this week. While we were trying to get a handle on our grief, he was making arrangements. Mrs. Ellis was on her way back from Italy, Ellis daughter #2 was hiking the Appalachian trail, family and friends, lots of friends, to be notified and a memorial service to be arranged, a service which Chris emceed. Above and beyond Chris. Well done Sir.
To understand Ellis is to understand how warm and welcoming he was. I had just moved to the hood. Mrs Doofus and Mrs Ellis, as all great moms do, had arranged a carpool with the Ellis daughters, Doofus daughter #2 and the Big Guy (at the time a normal sized 6th grader). It was a Thursday and my day to carpool. In the back, the Ellis girls were talking, in that dismissive tone that preteen girls specialize, about how their Dad had another night on the deck, smoking cigars and drinking.
I was intrigued. I looked back in the rear view mirror and asked " Sounds like fun, can I get an invite?"
Now, for Ellis, there are no strangers in his life, just his next friend. I got a call a couple of days later. C'mon over and I'll introduce you to the gang.
The initiation was simple. Ellis told his camping joke, laugh uproariously and you were in. It was pure Ellis, full of corny jokes, the cornier, the bigger that deep boisterous laugh. I never felt more welcome. A life long friendship had begun.
At first the gatherings were occasional as everyone was working but as time went on, Ellis' affliction got progressively worse and forced him to retire. All that meant was he had more time to mountain bike, hike and of course, invite friends over for a drink and a smoke. We would gather, tell the same old stories mixed in with a few new ones, listen to Ellis' latest jokes, watch as Ellis would torture Dobby over politics. And of course, hear the latest about North Carolina.
I was on the phone with Mrs Doofus, when Chris called, called again and then left a message. Being a Monday and the persistence, I knew it wasn't an invite to the Outdoor Ampitheatre. Something must be up. And I figured it must be be about Ellis. He has been ailing and in pain for for far too long.
"You sitting down?"
"Yup"
"Ellis is gone."
I was dumbstruck. I figured the call was to say he was in the hospital and we were to gather to wish him a speedy recovery or at worst to say goodbye. Not this. No chance to prepare. No chance to see him laugh and smile one more time. No chance to say goodbye.
Chris has been amazing this week. While we were trying to get a handle on our grief, he was making arrangements. Mrs. Ellis was on her way back from Italy, Ellis daughter #2 was hiking the Appalachian trail, family and friends, lots of friends, to be notified and a memorial service to be arranged, a service which Chris emceed. Above and beyond Chris. Well done Sir.
To understand Ellis is to understand how warm and welcoming he was. I had just moved to the hood. Mrs Doofus and Mrs Ellis, as all great moms do, had arranged a carpool with the Ellis daughters, Doofus daughter #2 and the Big Guy (at the time a normal sized 6th grader). It was a Thursday and my day to carpool. In the back, the Ellis girls were talking, in that dismissive tone that preteen girls specialize, about how their Dad had another night on the deck, smoking cigars and drinking.
I was intrigued. I looked back in the rear view mirror and asked " Sounds like fun, can I get an invite?"
Now, for Ellis, there are no strangers in his life, just his next friend. I got a call a couple of days later. C'mon over and I'll introduce you to the gang.
The initiation was simple. Ellis told his camping joke, laugh uproariously and you were in. It was pure Ellis, full of corny jokes, the cornier, the bigger that deep boisterous laugh. I never felt more welcome. A life long friendship had begun.
At first the gatherings were occasional as everyone was working but as time went on, Ellis' affliction got progressively worse and forced him to retire. All that meant was he had more time to mountain bike, hike and of course, invite friends over for a drink and a smoke. We would gather, tell the same old stories mixed in with a few new ones, listen to Ellis' latest jokes, watch as Ellis would torture Dobby over politics. And of course, hear the latest about North Carolina.
There was no truer Carolina Blue fan than Ellis. He had great stories, whether it was about the time he played against Archie Griffin in Griffins debut or the time he set the UNC record for longest FG. And he would always smile when I told him about the time we got him to root against Carolina even if for a brief moment.
Ellis had joined us in Vegas while he still could. It was the time MSU and UNC were playing on an aircraft carrier. Woz felt that it would take some time for the teams to adjust to playing on a ship and it was a bit damp too. He was taking the under for the first half. Ellis and I liked that bet so we made it too.
With under 10 seconds to go, the game was still under by 2 points. Carolina drove to the corner and launched a three. From next to me, in his scooter, Ellis yells "MIss It!!!" and then laughed that laugh. He knew what he had just done.
And like the Bubba joke, Ellis seemed to know everyone. Several years back, Ellis invited me, Rock and Dobby to a Georgia Tech Wake Forest basketball game. As we were settling into our seats, Ellis says, hang on, I'll be back and goes all the way across the arena. As we watch from afar, the radio announcer for Wake Forest waves Ellis over and they start talking and laughing. He comes back and says he is an old family friend. You couldn't go anywhere without Ellis knowing someone.
And now it is all in the past. But the massive circle of friends that he was able to amass will continue to gather. A legacy of his outgoing manner, his friendship and his ability to make you feel welcome.
In one of our many whiskey infused meandering discussions, the topic of favorite singers came up. Turns out that one of Ellis' favorite singers was Roy Orbison. This is for you Ellis and how we are all feeling
Ellis had joined us in Vegas while he still could. It was the time MSU and UNC were playing on an aircraft carrier. Woz felt that it would take some time for the teams to adjust to playing on a ship and it was a bit damp too. He was taking the under for the first half. Ellis and I liked that bet so we made it too.
With under 10 seconds to go, the game was still under by 2 points. Carolina drove to the corner and launched a three. From next to me, in his scooter, Ellis yells "MIss It!!!" and then laughed that laugh. He knew what he had just done.
And like the Bubba joke, Ellis seemed to know everyone. Several years back, Ellis invited me, Rock and Dobby to a Georgia Tech Wake Forest basketball game. As we were settling into our seats, Ellis says, hang on, I'll be back and goes all the way across the arena. As we watch from afar, the radio announcer for Wake Forest waves Ellis over and they start talking and laughing. He comes back and says he is an old family friend. You couldn't go anywhere without Ellis knowing someone.
And now it is all in the past. But the massive circle of friends that he was able to amass will continue to gather. A legacy of his outgoing manner, his friendship and his ability to make you feel welcome.
In one of our many whiskey infused meandering discussions, the topic of favorite singers came up. Turns out that one of Ellis' favorite singers was Roy Orbison. This is for you Ellis and how we are all feeling
Early on, Ellis would bring a special black zero gravity chair to our gatherings so he could sit comfortably. As the disease progressed, it became more and more difficult for him to cart his chair about so he left chairs at the Outdoor Ampitheatre and the Doofus Deck. As the gang would prepare to gather, Chris and I would put out the Ellis chair in anticipation that our nucleus would come over. Attendance was always bigger and the party was always better when he would join.
From now on Ellis, at all future Doofus Deck gatherings, I will put out the your chair so you can join us.
RIP my good friend.