
It was a great start to the 2016 college football season. Chris hosted the gang at his new Southern Beach Command. A massive coastal palace, able to sleep 20, feed even more, all a block from the beach.
The festivities started early as Georgia Tech played Boston College at 7:30 eastern – an ungodly hour for the team after partying well into Friday night. Mrs Doofus and I had the bedroom right off the living/TV room so I was able to use the caterwauling of the others as my alarm clock. Mr H was the worst. He is rarely up before the crack of noon.
I threw on some clothes (no time for a shower – I was going in ripe) and sat back for some football. Bruce forgot the Bloody Mary mix so we were going to do this game sober. A very rare occurrence.
The Sax Man and Saxy Lady were at the tail end of their “Best Distilleries of Ireland” self-guided stumbling tour and made it to the game. They had no problems with beverages – he texted me a picture of him holding a Guinness from the corner of the end zone.
The festivities started early as Georgia Tech played Boston College at 7:30 eastern – an ungodly hour for the team after partying well into Friday night. Mrs Doofus and I had the bedroom right off the living/TV room so I was able to use the caterwauling of the others as my alarm clock. Mr H was the worst. He is rarely up before the crack of noon.
I threw on some clothes (no time for a shower – I was going in ripe) and sat back for some football. Bruce forgot the Bloody Mary mix so we were going to do this game sober. A very rare occurrence.
The Sax Man and Saxy Lady were at the tail end of their “Best Distilleries of Ireland” self-guided stumbling tour and made it to the game. They had no problems with beverages – he texted me a picture of him holding a Guinness from the corner of the end zone.

And a great game it was. Down seven, the Jackets settled for a field goal with about six minutes to go and then forced the punt it needed to get the ball back. With Mrs Bruce going nuts the whole time, Tech went on an 11 play drive that included a 4th and 19 conversion. The Bees punched it into the end zone with 35 seconds to go to score the win. I could hear the Sax Man screaming from this side of the Atlantic.
From a bettors perspective, the game ended in a push. A precursor of the weekends results.
Then something happened that I don’t recall having to go through before. There was a dead period with no games going on.
We decided to go for a quick stroll on the beach. Nothing like getting some of that romantic stuff out of the way. After quick well received shower, Chris and I went to the deck to set up multiple TVs so we could have some cigars when the games returned.
From a bettors perspective, the game ended in a push. A precursor of the weekends results.
Then something happened that I don’t recall having to go through before. There was a dead period with no games going on.
We decided to go for a quick stroll on the beach. Nothing like getting some of that romantic stuff out of the way. After quick well received shower, Chris and I went to the deck to set up multiple TVs so we could have some cigars when the games returned.

There were plenty of great games. And the banter during the breaks in the action between Chris and I kept Bruce amused for hours. Nothing like a long rolling session of "Back in the Day" debates (think Ginger vs Mary Ann) to fill in the time.
For the record - Ginger
The conversation meandered into a fairly strict set of conditions as to what qualifies as having visited a state. The qualifiers only knocked off one state from my list to put me in the lead.
For the record - Ginger
The conversation meandered into a fairly strict set of conditions as to what qualifies as having visited a state. The qualifiers only knocked off one state from my list to put me in the lead.

As far as the betting - a big fat meh. The Big Book of Guesses went 19-20-1 - typical for this time of year. The Doofus went 0-1 on the Mega Bets as
Notre Dame -3.5 vs Texas - Boy, did I catch grief on this one. Bruce was clearly bewildered. "How can you root for the Papists - How can you???" He was nearly in tears. No amount of telling him that ND helping MSU get into the Big Ten and screw Michigan at the same time seemed to console him. I was rooting for the Devil's minions.
The game ended regulation in bizarre fashion. Texas scored a TD to go up 2 with 3:20 to go. The extra point would put them up three and then this happened
Notre Dame -3.5 vs Texas - Boy, did I catch grief on this one. Bruce was clearly bewildered. "How can you root for the Papists - How can you???" He was nearly in tears. No amount of telling him that ND helping MSU get into the Big Ten and screw Michigan at the same time seemed to console him. I was rooting for the Devil's minions.
The game ended regulation in bizarre fashion. Texas scored a TD to go up 2 with 3:20 to go. The extra point would put them up three and then this happened

Were tied!!. Intead of being down three were were tied! I had new life
The game went into OT - bonus football!
The problem was that I was giving 3.5
When Texas lost the toss and ND had to go first I was in trouble. My main fear was that Texas would score a FG. If ND then went down and scored a TD there would be no extra point. The game would end with ND winning by 3. Mrs H was bemused by how your view point changes when seen from a bettors perspective.
Fortunately, I guess, Texas got the TD and ND got the ball. The Irish matched the TD and now another fear crept in. What if they go for two? I would be screwed either way. If they miss, ND loses, If the get it they only win by one and I still lose.
ND goes for 1, makes it and we are in double OT.
This time ND gets the ball first, stalls and kicks a FG. I knew it was over right then. Texas would either drive and not score leaving ND winning by three or they get a TD and win the game outright.
It was door number 2. QB Tyrone Swoopes fakes the hand off, runs it up the middle for a TD and the game. Great finish even if it made for a Mega Bet LOSS.
Now I really started catching grief. Bruce was unloading that it serves me right for rooting on the Domers.
Pat is texting that the Big Book of Guesses is going to be a total failure this year.
It's only one game
No matter - you are doomed.
Johnny E called to give me grief about picking LSU to beat Wisconsin.
I didn't even bet it
No matter - you suck
Mrs Doofus was giving me grief for just about everything but that's normal.
Guilty on all accounts.
It's going to be a great year
This week the NFL joins in on the fun. After letting their minor leagues hog the stage over Labor Day weekend the Big Show is ready to open.
Appalachian State -20.5 vs Old Dominion - App State was this close to upsetting Tennessee last week.
Were tied!!. Intead of being down three were were tied! I had new life
The game went into OT - bonus football!
The problem was that I was giving 3.5
When Texas lost the toss and ND had to go first I was in trouble. My main fear was that Texas would score a FG. If ND then went down and scored a TD there would be no extra point. The game would end with ND winning by 3. Mrs H was bemused by how your view point changes when seen from a bettors perspective.
Fortunately, I guess, Texas got the TD and ND got the ball. The Irish matched the TD and now another fear crept in. What if they go for two? I would be screwed either way. If they miss, ND loses, If the get it they only win by one and I still lose.
ND goes for 1, makes it and we are in double OT.
This time ND gets the ball first, stalls and kicks a FG. I knew it was over right then. Texas would either drive and not score leaving ND winning by three or they get a TD and win the game outright.
It was door number 2. QB Tyrone Swoopes fakes the hand off, runs it up the middle for a TD and the game. Great finish even if it made for a Mega Bet LOSS.
Now I really started catching grief. Bruce was unloading that it serves me right for rooting on the Domers.
Pat is texting that the Big Book of Guesses is going to be a total failure this year.
It's only one game
No matter - you are doomed.
Johnny E called to give me grief about picking LSU to beat Wisconsin.
I didn't even bet it
No matter - you suck
Mrs Doofus was giving me grief for just about everything but that's normal.
Guilty on all accounts.
It's going to be a great year
This week the NFL joins in on the fun. After letting their minor leagues hog the stage over Labor Day weekend the Big Show is ready to open.
Appalachian State -20.5 vs Old Dominion - App State was this close to upsetting Tennessee last week.

The Mountaineers took a 13-3 half time lead and dominated through most of the game. The Vols tied it up in the 4th quarter and before winning it in OT.
App State will take out their frustrations on an outmanned Old Dominion squad that they crushed last year 49-0.
ODU is a bad team that can't cover either. They are 8-17 ATS in their last 25 games.
Tampa Bay +3.0 @ Atlanta - They are going to hate me in the hood but Atlanta is a bad team. They got off to a fast 6-1 start last year but it was all an illusion. They finished on a 2-7 streak.
The primary reason is an offense that can't get the ball into the end zone ever since Tony Gonzalez left. It doesn't help that the offensive line is a sieve that can't keep an over rated Matt Ryan upright.
App State will take out their frustrations on an outmanned Old Dominion squad that they crushed last year 49-0.
ODU is a bad team that can't cover either. They are 8-17 ATS in their last 25 games.
Tampa Bay +3.0 @ Atlanta - They are going to hate me in the hood but Atlanta is a bad team. They got off to a fast 6-1 start last year but it was all an illusion. They finished on a 2-7 streak.
The primary reason is an offense that can't get the ball into the end zone ever since Tony Gonzalez left. It doesn't help that the offensive line is a sieve that can't keep an over rated Matt Ryan upright.

The DL is worse as they generated a league low 19 sacks last year. With a clean pocket, Jameis Winston will torch the Falcons secondary.
Atlanta is on a 2-10 losing streak ATS including the last seven in a row. Tampa Bay is a good bet as a road dog going 9-3 over their last 12.
I'm going to go with a trifecta of Mini Megas this week
North Carolina -8.5 @ Illinois - Ellis has been crowing about the Heels. They are going to take their frustrations over the Georgia loss out on a bottom rung BIG 10 team.
The passing game ginked against Georgia but won't have two duds in a row.
Minnesota -2.5 @ Tennessee - Teddy Bridgewater went down for the Vikings so they overpaid and brought in Sam Bradford. It doesn't really matter. All Day and the defense are more than the Titans can handle.
Oakland +1.5 @ New Orleans - The Saints defense was awful last year and will be worse this. They used to rely on the Fabulous Drew Brees to win games but he is past his prime. The improving Raiders make a statement.
Atlanta is on a 2-10 losing streak ATS including the last seven in a row. Tampa Bay is a good bet as a road dog going 9-3 over their last 12.
I'm going to go with a trifecta of Mini Megas this week
North Carolina -8.5 @ Illinois - Ellis has been crowing about the Heels. They are going to take their frustrations over the Georgia loss out on a bottom rung BIG 10 team.
The passing game ginked against Georgia but won't have two duds in a row.
Minnesota -2.5 @ Tennessee - Teddy Bridgewater went down for the Vikings so they overpaid and brought in Sam Bradford. It doesn't really matter. All Day and the defense are more than the Titans can handle.
Oakland +1.5 @ New Orleans - The Saints defense was awful last year and will be worse this. They used to rely on the Fabulous Drew Brees to win games but he is past his prime. The improving Raiders make a statement.
I'm also going to go with the first parlays of the year starting with a
Point Whore Parlay - taking underdogs of 10 points or more
Tulsa +29.0 @ Ohio State
Massachusetts +17.0 vs Boston Colege
SMU +31.5 @ Baylor
I'm also going to do an
Under Parlay
Duke vs Wake Forest - Under 44.0
Massachusetts vs Boston College - Under 39.5
Navy vs Connecticut - Under 45.0 (Joe - does this violate the Big Al Rule?)
For all the games, picks, ame times, TV, records ATS and much much more here is the the Week 2 Bettors Guide
Point Whore Parlay - taking underdogs of 10 points or more
Tulsa +29.0 @ Ohio State
Massachusetts +17.0 vs Boston Colege
SMU +31.5 @ Baylor
I'm also going to do an
Under Parlay
Duke vs Wake Forest - Under 44.0
Massachusetts vs Boston College - Under 39.5
Navy vs Connecticut - Under 45.0 (Joe - does this violate the Big Al Rule?)
For all the games, picks, ame times, TV, records ATS and much much more here is the the Week 2 Bettors Guide

Week 2 2016 Bettors Guide |

The Sheriff went 1-1-1 with his picks last week. This week he weighs in with
Utah St (+16.5) over USC. This game kicks off at 11:00 AM local time on the PAC-12 Network, which tells you all you need to know about how far the Mighty have fallen (Pete Carroll’s Trojans always played in Prime Time). The Condoms will probably finish September 1-3 (assuming they win this game -- a big IF -- but some of that 5-star talent has to show up eventually). After getting thrashed 52-6 by Alabama, the only reason to tune into this game is to see if USC has ANY self-respect or pride left. Probably enough to win but not enough to cover.
The Doofus – USC is 28-11 against the spread following a straight up loss and 8-1 ATS after allowing 40 or more points in the previous game. I’ll take the Condoms to come out fired up.
Washington State (+11.5) over Boise State. This is the Sheriff’s Upset Special of the Week. We don’t know why the Dread Pirate Leach can never get Wazzou up for its season openers (last year they lost to Portland State, this year Eastern Washington), but this team is going to be a factor in the PAC-12 North, and the Sheriff sees Luke Falk throwing for over 500 yards on the Blue Field of Boise this week. The Cougs will atone for their embarrassing performance last week.
The Doofus – Good call. Boise is 11-20 ATS on the blue carpet since 2011. Leach went 5-1 as road dog last year and is 19-12 as the dog since 2012.
Oregon (-24.5) over Virginia. Even though the Ducks looked unimpressive last week in beating UC-Davis, the offense still hung half a hundred on the Aggies. Dakota Prukop is this year’s Vernon Adams Jr, but unlike Adams he has been with the team since Spring Practice so he has had more time to learn the offense. Dakota should be more comfortable in his second game as Oregon’s QB and should have no trouble scoring against a pathetic Virginia team that lost at home to the Richmond Spiders last week
The Doofus – I’m not so sure. UVA is 12- 4 last three years as the dog. And they are 7-0 as a double digit dog the past two years. The Ducks went 2-6 as a home favorite last year. I’ll pass
Remember - the 2016 GO JUMBO trip is Nov 5 at the Westgate Resort
Utah St (+16.5) over USC. This game kicks off at 11:00 AM local time on the PAC-12 Network, which tells you all you need to know about how far the Mighty have fallen (Pete Carroll’s Trojans always played in Prime Time). The Condoms will probably finish September 1-3 (assuming they win this game -- a big IF -- but some of that 5-star talent has to show up eventually). After getting thrashed 52-6 by Alabama, the only reason to tune into this game is to see if USC has ANY self-respect or pride left. Probably enough to win but not enough to cover.
The Doofus – USC is 28-11 against the spread following a straight up loss and 8-1 ATS after allowing 40 or more points in the previous game. I’ll take the Condoms to come out fired up.
Washington State (+11.5) over Boise State. This is the Sheriff’s Upset Special of the Week. We don’t know why the Dread Pirate Leach can never get Wazzou up for its season openers (last year they lost to Portland State, this year Eastern Washington), but this team is going to be a factor in the PAC-12 North, and the Sheriff sees Luke Falk throwing for over 500 yards on the Blue Field of Boise this week. The Cougs will atone for their embarrassing performance last week.
The Doofus – Good call. Boise is 11-20 ATS on the blue carpet since 2011. Leach went 5-1 as road dog last year and is 19-12 as the dog since 2012.
Oregon (-24.5) over Virginia. Even though the Ducks looked unimpressive last week in beating UC-Davis, the offense still hung half a hundred on the Aggies. Dakota Prukop is this year’s Vernon Adams Jr, but unlike Adams he has been with the team since Spring Practice so he has had more time to learn the offense. Dakota should be more comfortable in his second game as Oregon’s QB and should have no trouble scoring against a pathetic Virginia team that lost at home to the Richmond Spiders last week
The Doofus – I’m not so sure. UVA is 12- 4 last three years as the dog. And they are 7-0 as a double digit dog the past two years. The Ducks went 2-6 as a home favorite last year. I’ll pass
Remember - the 2016 GO JUMBO trip is Nov 5 at the Westgate Resort