Things were off to a good start with the Falcons win Splaaaaff!
My burger, which I had just bought, fell face down onto the SuperBook floor. Pretty much summed up my betting for the weekend. A greasy self inflicted mess – with extra condiments and a side of fries.
It didn’t seem like it would start out that way.
I came in Thursday afternoon. By myself, as it turned out.
A lot of the usual early birds were either no shows – The Big Flippy backed out at the last minute; Trent was deeply apologetic for having to back out last week; and Fuss decided to spend his time with his horse friends at the Breeders Cup – or they decided to come in Friday.
Woz, who almost always comes in Thursday, shifted his schedule to come in Friday and leave Tuesday. He wanted to do the first GO JUMBO Monday Night Football.
Pete and Pat were coming in Friday morning. And there were some surprise guests coming in Friday too. Looked like attendance was going to be a little down from usual but better than last year.
I checked into my hotel. SEMA was finishing up their week long bash and rates at our favorite hotel were outrageous Thursday night. So I used up some of my Hilton points and stayed at the Embassy Suites about a mile down the road.
It was a mile I was going to see a lot of over the next 24 hours.
I texted Pat to see if he wanted to make any bets.
Sure – take the over on the UCLA and Ohio.
You want in on the Falcons? I asked – they look good giving 4.5.
My burger, which I had just bought, fell face down onto the SuperBook floor. Pretty much summed up my betting for the weekend. A greasy self inflicted mess – with extra condiments and a side of fries.
It didn’t seem like it would start out that way.
I came in Thursday afternoon. By myself, as it turned out.
A lot of the usual early birds were either no shows – The Big Flippy backed out at the last minute; Trent was deeply apologetic for having to back out last week; and Fuss decided to spend his time with his horse friends at the Breeders Cup – or they decided to come in Friday.
Woz, who almost always comes in Thursday, shifted his schedule to come in Friday and leave Tuesday. He wanted to do the first GO JUMBO Monday Night Football.
Pete and Pat were coming in Friday morning. And there were some surprise guests coming in Friday too. Looked like attendance was going to be a little down from usual but better than last year.
I checked into my hotel. SEMA was finishing up their week long bash and rates at our favorite hotel were outrageous Thursday night. So I used up some of my Hilton points and stayed at the Embassy Suites about a mile down the road.
It was a mile I was going to see a lot of over the next 24 hours.
I texted Pat to see if he wanted to make any bets.
Sure – take the over on the UCLA and Ohio.
You want in on the Falcons? I asked – they look good giving 4.5.
Hadn't planned on having fresh whitey tighties for the weekend but it sure felt good Nope, just the overs he said.
I looked at the start times for the games. Sh!t, the Ohio game was starting real early – 3:00 Vegas time. So I scurried on down the SuperBook and placed our bets.
After checking out the new digs I headed back to my hotel so I could finish up my BBofG update. I was going to need some liquid encouragement so I made a side track to a liquor store. It was another mile out of the way.
3 miles into the afternoon, I got back to the hotel, finished up my picks for Saturday, updated them into the BBofG and starting watching the games.
Pat was going down in flames but I was doing all right. Before the Falcons kicked off, I decided to watch the game the proper way – in the SuperBook with the other betting degenerates. It was a blast. The Falcons kicked Buc a$$ and I had a Mini-Mega win. Things were looking good.
I headed back to the hotel. I had 5 miles under my belt and a slightly fatter wallet.
I got up Friday, went to get dressed, only to find out I hadn’t packed any underwear. Now I distinctly remember getting out several clean pair but somehow they didn’t make it into the suitcase. Not sure why not, but it didn’t matter, I needed to go and buy some.
I googled the nearest Target – 1.5 miles away. It was a nice day out so I decided to make the hike and get some whitey tighties. No boxers for me. I find them to be too avant garde – a bit French if you will. If whitey tighties were good enough for Mom to dress me in their good enough for me.
I bought a pack, headed back the Suites (changed) and finished up some work calls.
I looked at the start times for the games. Sh!t, the Ohio game was starting real early – 3:00 Vegas time. So I scurried on down the SuperBook and placed our bets.
After checking out the new digs I headed back to my hotel so I could finish up my BBofG update. I was going to need some liquid encouragement so I made a side track to a liquor store. It was another mile out of the way.
3 miles into the afternoon, I got back to the hotel, finished up my picks for Saturday, updated them into the BBofG and starting watching the games.
Pat was going down in flames but I was doing all right. Before the Falcons kicked off, I decided to watch the game the proper way – in the SuperBook with the other betting degenerates. It was a blast. The Falcons kicked Buc a$$ and I had a Mini-Mega win. Things were looking good.
I headed back to the hotel. I had 5 miles under my belt and a slightly fatter wallet.
I got up Friday, went to get dressed, only to find out I hadn’t packed any underwear. Now I distinctly remember getting out several clean pair but somehow they didn’t make it into the suitcase. Not sure why not, but it didn’t matter, I needed to go and buy some.
I googled the nearest Target – 1.5 miles away. It was a nice day out so I decided to make the hike and get some whitey tighties. No boxers for me. I find them to be too avant garde – a bit French if you will. If whitey tighties were good enough for Mom to dress me in their good enough for me.
I bought a pack, headed back the Suites (changed) and finished up some work calls.
Iron Eyes Mike made a surprise visit Time to get this party started! With fresh underwear to boot.
Pete, Pat and Woz finally arrived. I checked out of the Suites, walked down the the Westgate and checked in. I had now walked 9 miles in the last 24 hours.
Woz was not impressed. He runs that before his morning constitutional. Well, not really. No one runs that far before their MC. Otherwise, if nature isn't calling a mile into it, it sure is tweeting loudly.
We met Sid’s, a café just overlooking the Westgate casino. Time to make plans for Friday while we waited for the surprise guest.
Woz originally wanted to go see the PGA tourney going on but with Fuss not coming we didn’t have a ride. We could get a cab there if we wanted but didn’t know how we would get back.
I can’t seem to recall how the idea came up but we agreed that we would go see Fat Elvis over at Harrahs. I liked the idea since it was my kind of price – free.
By now the surprise guests arrived – Berg, Chuck and a brand new surprise guest Mike M. The Big Chief. Mike M may have been Italian but Pete always thought he looked Native American – sort of like a much younger Iron Eyes Cody from the old anti pollution commercials.
Haven’t seen Mike since college. We all had a lot of catching up to do.
Pete, Pat and Woz finally arrived. I checked out of the Suites, walked down the the Westgate and checked in. I had now walked 9 miles in the last 24 hours.
Woz was not impressed. He runs that before his morning constitutional. Well, not really. No one runs that far before their MC. Otherwise, if nature isn't calling a mile into it, it sure is tweeting loudly.
We met Sid’s, a café just overlooking the Westgate casino. Time to make plans for Friday while we waited for the surprise guest.
Woz originally wanted to go see the PGA tourney going on but with Fuss not coming we didn’t have a ride. We could get a cab there if we wanted but didn’t know how we would get back.
I can’t seem to recall how the idea came up but we agreed that we would go see Fat Elvis over at Harrahs. I liked the idea since it was my kind of price – free.
By now the surprise guests arrived – Berg, Chuck and a brand new surprise guest Mike M. The Big Chief. Mike M may have been Italian but Pete always thought he looked Native American – sort of like a much younger Iron Eyes Cody from the old anti pollution commercials.
Haven’t seen Mike since college. We all had a lot of catching up to do.
Fat Elvis was huge and sang even bigger But first thing first - we were off to see Fat Elvis
Fat Elvis is bigger than huge. This guy is immense. He’s easily is past five balloons – a few spins past the guy who normally sits next to me on the plane.
But, boy can he sing. Close your eyes and he sounds just like Elvis. It’s uncanny.
He encouraged the crowd to join along. Pete looked at me. I nodded – you can sing this weekend Pete. Permission granted. I wanted to join in too.
Soon we were all joining in. Well, mainly Pete and me.
Fat Elvis ended his routine with a cover of an Elvis cover of an old Johnny Cash classic – Ring of Fire. Pete and I were singing that throughout the weekend. We had permission.
Fat Elvis is bigger than huge. This guy is immense. He’s easily is past five balloons – a few spins past the guy who normally sits next to me on the plane.
But, boy can he sing. Close your eyes and he sounds just like Elvis. It’s uncanny.
He encouraged the crowd to join along. Pete looked at me. I nodded – you can sing this weekend Pete. Permission granted. I wanted to join in too.
Soon we were all joining in. Well, mainly Pete and me.
Fat Elvis ended his routine with a cover of an Elvis cover of an old Johnny Cash classic – Ring of Fire. Pete and I were singing that throughout the weekend. We had permission.
Saturday kicked off with some Bloody Marys Little did I know that that song would become the theme song for my bets over the weekend.
We were a couple of trays of Guiness into a good time when Pat talked me into taking Central Michigan to cover 4.0 against Miami (OH) for the Friday night game. On the plane ride in, I as going to take the Redskins but the stout was kicking in and I bet on the Chips. Woz had me make some bad hockey bets too.
All lost. Fortunately, I stuck with my Arkansas State bet which won. I was still ahead for the weekend but not by much.
We had a great time catching up on old stories and making up new ones before we called it a night.
Saturday arrived - FFDY!!!!!!
We agreed to meet at 7:00 am but I couldn’t wait. I was down 45 minutes early. I plunked myself down right in front of the diner. Three tables were there, all together with chairs all around. Perfect!
A couple of guys came down about 15 minutes later, looked at me and looked at my set up- kind of amazed. They were older, a bit scraggly with grey hair, a tad on the long side. Classic betting degenerates.
“You guys can have that third table if you want. We’re only going to need two”. They smiled, took they table and a couple of chairs and then introduced themselves.
We’re Mike and Clay. We come here all the time but no one ever beats us to these tables. You must really be into betting on football. We’re impressed!
Soon I had some new best friends. While I waited for the gang to arrive we were chatting up our favorite picks for the day games to avoid, bad beats from days past – the usual stuff. If there is a Betting Degenerate Club I guess I’m in
Woz and Pat finally made it over. Pat was staying at the Stratosphere. He got a good package deal and it was only a couple of blocks away. Not only that but halfway in between there’s a liquor store. Pat bought some Bloody Mary mix (and vodka of course)
Now it was a good time!
Tommy Armstrong came back to the sidelines on the 2nd half I had made my bets but stupidly the day before. A couple of years back, the SuperBook instituted a drink coupon policy. $50 of bets gets you one drink coupon and you have to ask for it. Something we were to forget far too often during the weekend.
Not only that they are only good for that day. By making my bets on Friday, I had plenty of betting slips and a ton of expired coupons. The coupons are only good the day you get them. The Friday coupons were no good on Saturday.
It was all right though. Pat had the Bloody Mary’s all set up and I brought down a nearly full bottle of Tullamore Dew as well. We were in good enough shape.
The morning games started with a Spartan loss. That was only the start of the disastrous Saturday. My picks were OK but the bigger the bet I put on them the bigger the loss.
Coming into the weekend, I knew not to make too many Mega Bets. I made only one. It was, of course, my worst bet of the weekend.
I took Nebraska getting 17.0 @ Ohio State. Everyone, I mean everyone thought that was a good bet. Even Mike and Clay. Pat made that bet. So did Woz. Most everyone made the same bet. Just not a much.
Final score – BuckNuts 62 CornBoys 3
62-3!! - Holy crap. Not even close. The worst had to be seeing Tommy Armstrong being carted off in a stretcher, his head fully immobilized, giving the classic Mike Utley thumbs up sign as the wheeled him into the ambulance. They even had a copter shot of the ambulance rolling out of the stadium and off campus. A pall was cast over the stadium. Thankfully, he was seen on the sidelines in the second half. But he had to watch his team (and my one and only Mega Bet) get destroyed.
Pat came by to say that if you think our betting was bad you should have seen the guy next to him on the video poker. Pat was playing quarter slots but this guy had turned it up to dollar bets. He put in four $100 billls and lost it in about fifteen minutes. He plunked in another couple hundred. – gone in ten. Another couple hundred – gone again. Pat figured the guy lost about $800 in half an hour.
Somehow that didn’t make me feel a whole lot better.
Late into the evening, Hugh and I left the gang to have a cigar over by the bar in the casino. It did bring about some better luck as a last minute quatloo pick on Wyoming and a hockey pick that Woz didn't want to make paid off. But the damage was done. The betting on college ball went:
Quatloo bets – 11-9
Mini Megas – 2-5
Mega Bets – 0-1
The bigger the bet the worse the teams did.
A Ring of Fire / A Ring of Fire
Not only that they are only good for that day. By making my bets on Friday, I had plenty of betting slips and a ton of expired coupons. The coupons are only good the day you get them. The Friday coupons were no good on Saturday.
It was all right though. Pat had the Bloody Mary’s all set up and I brought down a nearly full bottle of Tullamore Dew as well. We were in good enough shape.
The morning games started with a Spartan loss. That was only the start of the disastrous Saturday. My picks were OK but the bigger the bet I put on them the bigger the loss.
Coming into the weekend, I knew not to make too many Mega Bets. I made only one. It was, of course, my worst bet of the weekend.
I took Nebraska getting 17.0 @ Ohio State. Everyone, I mean everyone thought that was a good bet. Even Mike and Clay. Pat made that bet. So did Woz. Most everyone made the same bet. Just not a much.
Final score – BuckNuts 62 CornBoys 3
62-3!! - Holy crap. Not even close. The worst had to be seeing Tommy Armstrong being carted off in a stretcher, his head fully immobilized, giving the classic Mike Utley thumbs up sign as the wheeled him into the ambulance. They even had a copter shot of the ambulance rolling out of the stadium and off campus. A pall was cast over the stadium. Thankfully, he was seen on the sidelines in the second half. But he had to watch his team (and my one and only Mega Bet) get destroyed.
Pat came by to say that if you think our betting was bad you should have seen the guy next to him on the video poker. Pat was playing quarter slots but this guy had turned it up to dollar bets. He put in four $100 billls and lost it in about fifteen minutes. He plunked in another couple hundred. – gone in ten. Another couple hundred – gone again. Pat figured the guy lost about $800 in half an hour.
Somehow that didn’t make me feel a whole lot better.
Late into the evening, Hugh and I left the gang to have a cigar over by the bar in the casino. It did bring about some better luck as a last minute quatloo pick on Wyoming and a hockey pick that Woz didn't want to make paid off. But the damage was done. The betting on college ball went:
Quatloo bets – 11-9
Mini Megas – 2-5
Mega Bets – 0-1
The bigger the bet the worse the teams did.
A Ring of Fire / A Ring of Fire
Wentz threw 2 picks on the first two drives On Sunday, I was down early again - only to see Woz had beat me to our tables. Seems as though he had forgotten to set his clock back. He was kind of pissed at himself. He could have had an extra hour's sleep but he blew it.
Shortly after I arrived, Mike and Clay came down. Now they were really impressed. We had beat them down for the NFL too.
On Saturday I had a decent loss – about in line with last year. But last year I made back half the loss on the NFL. Could that happen again?
Nope. Once again the picks were OK but the bigger the bet the bigger the loss.
Overall I went
Quatloo bets – 2-1
Mini Mega bet 1-0
Double Mini Mega 0-2
I smartly didn’t make a Mega Bet. It kept my losses down
Philadelphia +3.0 @ NY Giants – Carson Wentz threw two picks on the first two drives which the GMen turned into TDs. They also whiffed on two fourth downs in the red zone and missed a FG – all in the first half. Five turnovers in the first half – crap. Final score NY Giants 28 Eagles 23
LA Rams moneyline vs Carolina – I got greedy. If I had taken the 3.0 spread I would have gotten a push as the Rams lost 13-10.
I also took the Rams as my pick on the GO JUMBO communal parlay getting 3.5. I at least got my money back and then some as we went 3-2 on the parlay. Hugh and Woz had to pay up.
Shortly after I arrived, Mike and Clay came down. Now they were really impressed. We had beat them down for the NFL too.
On Saturday I had a decent loss – about in line with last year. But last year I made back half the loss on the NFL. Could that happen again?
Nope. Once again the picks were OK but the bigger the bet the bigger the loss.
Overall I went
Quatloo bets – 2-1
Mini Mega bet 1-0
Double Mini Mega 0-2
I smartly didn’t make a Mega Bet. It kept my losses down
Philadelphia +3.0 @ NY Giants – Carson Wentz threw two picks on the first two drives which the GMen turned into TDs. They also whiffed on two fourth downs in the red zone and missed a FG – all in the first half. Five turnovers in the first half – crap. Final score NY Giants 28 Eagles 23
LA Rams moneyline vs Carolina – I got greedy. If I had taken the 3.0 spread I would have gotten a push as the Rams lost 13-10.
I also took the Rams as my pick on the GO JUMBO communal parlay getting 3.5. I at least got my money back and then some as we went 3-2 on the parlay. Hugh and Woz had to pay up.
Ahhhh Crap - Looks like the Doofus picked us this week. As I was pissing and moaning about my luck, wondering how my picks could suck so bad, Pat came up with an interesting theory.
You realize, of course, that coaches read the Big Book of Guesses.
I stopped what I was doing, my eyes got bigger – now that makes sense!
I can just see it. The head coach gathers his team together just before game time
Coach “Team - I have some bad news”
Team “Oh Noooo”
Coach “That’s right, the Doofus has made a Mega Bet on us”
Team “Noooooo”
Coach “I’m sorry men, but you know what you have to do. Quarterback – you need to throw some picks. Pick sixes if you can. Defense – missed tackles are going to be needed. If a pass comes your way – interfere and make it obvious. Special teams – muff those snaps, fumble the hold and whiff on those kicks”
“The coaches will be doing their part by making crappy calls”
“I do not want to see any effort out there today. I want you to give it your least. Everyone should be giving their worst 5%”
“Now go out there and lose like men”
As the team saunters onto the field, two guys get injured.
You realize, of course, that coaches read the Big Book of Guesses.
I stopped what I was doing, my eyes got bigger – now that makes sense!
I can just see it. The head coach gathers his team together just before game time
Coach “Team - I have some bad news”
Team “Oh Noooo”
Coach “That’s right, the Doofus has made a Mega Bet on us”
Team “Noooooo”
Coach “I’m sorry men, but you know what you have to do. Quarterback – you need to throw some picks. Pick sixes if you can. Defense – missed tackles are going to be needed. If a pass comes your way – interfere and make it obvious. Special teams – muff those snaps, fumble the hold and whiff on those kicks”
“The coaches will be doing their part by making crappy calls”
“I do not want to see any effort out there today. I want you to give it your least. Everyone should be giving their worst 5%”
“Now go out there and lose like men”
As the team saunters onto the field, two guys get injured.
Even the roulette table reads the BBofG A Burning Ring of Fire
The damage was done. back to back losing days made for a losing weekend. The only good thing, I guess, is that I really ratcheted the betting down this year. The practice bets were bad too. I knew better that to go all in.
Everyone else was either slightly ahead or slightly behind. They did what I am going to do next year and evened out their bets. Unless I am really doing well coming into the GO JUMBO weekend, I'm going to go all peanut butter with the bets. Just spread 'em out evenly.
Sunday night most everyone had left. Woz and I stayed behind and played some video roulette. I used a Pat technique that paid out on most spins but lost badly if the green 0 and 00 came up. He was making a small profit.
When I tried it, I got way behind early when the greens came up 3 out of 4 times. I didn't know video roulette could read the BBofG. Of course, Woz had put most of his money on the greens and was way ahead. There's a man that knows how to use the BBofG.
The damage was done. back to back losing days made for a losing weekend. The only good thing, I guess, is that I really ratcheted the betting down this year. The practice bets were bad too. I knew better that to go all in.
Everyone else was either slightly ahead or slightly behind. They did what I am going to do next year and evened out their bets. Unless I am really doing well coming into the GO JUMBO weekend, I'm going to go all peanut butter with the bets. Just spread 'em out evenly.
Sunday night most everyone had left. Woz and I stayed behind and played some video roulette. I used a Pat technique that paid out on most spins but lost badly if the green 0 and 00 came up. He was making a small profit.
When I tried it, I got way behind early when the greens came up 3 out of 4 times. I didn't know video roulette could read the BBofG. Of course, Woz had put most of his money on the greens and was way ahead. There's a man that knows how to use the BBofG.
All in all, despite the picks and wasted food - another great time! Good to get together with the gang, retell old stories and make up new ones.
Sometime over the weekend, at the buffet, the Executive Committee met and determined that the 2017 GO JUMBO trip will be
Nov 11th 2017 at the Westgate Resort.
We wanted to have it after the SEMA conference was done so we could get some good rates.
And the last time we had it on Veterans Day, there were multiple Marine Corps weddings going on. Never felt safer in my life.
See you there
GO JUMBO!!!
Sometime over the weekend, at the buffet, the Executive Committee met and determined that the 2017 GO JUMBO trip will be
Nov 11th 2017 at the Westgate Resort.
We wanted to have it after the SEMA conference was done so we could get some good rates.
And the last time we had it on Veterans Day, there were multiple Marine Corps weddings going on. Never felt safer in my life.
See you there
GO JUMBO!!!
