Another Great GO JUMBO weekend! Full of old stories fueled by cheap booze served by even older waitresses - all inside a maddeningly cigar free environment. Oh yeah - and lots of FOOTBALL!!
As has been the growing trend we started arriving Thursday. I was working out of the LA region so I drove into Vegas this year. The drive was starkly beautiful - endless desert framed by the sun stroked mountains. Pete called me mid trip wondering where I was. “Somewhere in the middle of the Mojave – not sure if I am in California or Nevada though”. Just then I came over a slight rise to see two massive casinos – one on each side of the freeway circled by roller coasters and joined by a huge
walkway. “Check that, I must have just crossed into Nevada”. It was Primm Valley – the gateway to gambling. I guess some people just can’t wait to get there slot machines spinning.
But I didn’t have time to stop – at my current pace I would make it to the LVH with about 45 minutes to spare before the first games kicked off. Fortunately there were no driving dramas so I got to the hotel, checked in and looked for Woz and Bruce - both who had already texted to let me know that they were there ready to party.
Now Woz and Bruce had never met before so it was an obvious pimp opportunity. I went to the Super SportsBook
and met up with Woz. I told Woz that I was going to sit down about two rows over and when he sees a short bald man with a big wide happy smile – that’s Bruce. And here’s the plan….
Woz executed it to perfection. A couple of minutes after Bruce comes down Woz struts over and asks for his ID. As Bruce reaches for his wallet, Woz asks for his gambling registration. I’m playing it up too telling Bruce “Oh yeah, you need to register on line to gamble. It takes about 48 hours. But if you forget you can get a same day registration. On line it’s free but the same day registration goes for $50” Woz points to the $1,000 wager window to get his registration. Bruce is buying it hook line and sinker. As he looks to the window, Woz and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. We burst out laughing! I introduced Bruce to Woz and the 2013 GO JUMBO is off to a good start. And we have a new story to tell that will get bigger every year. Sorry Bruce but in 5 years we will have you doing all kinds
of strange and border line legal things.
As has been the growing trend we started arriving Thursday. I was working out of the LA region so I drove into Vegas this year. The drive was starkly beautiful - endless desert framed by the sun stroked mountains. Pete called me mid trip wondering where I was. “Somewhere in the middle of the Mojave – not sure if I am in California or Nevada though”. Just then I came over a slight rise to see two massive casinos – one on each side of the freeway circled by roller coasters and joined by a huge
walkway. “Check that, I must have just crossed into Nevada”. It was Primm Valley – the gateway to gambling. I guess some people just can’t wait to get there slot machines spinning.
But I didn’t have time to stop – at my current pace I would make it to the LVH with about 45 minutes to spare before the first games kicked off. Fortunately there were no driving dramas so I got to the hotel, checked in and looked for Woz and Bruce - both who had already texted to let me know that they were there ready to party.
Now Woz and Bruce had never met before so it was an obvious pimp opportunity. I went to the Super SportsBook
and met up with Woz. I told Woz that I was going to sit down about two rows over and when he sees a short bald man with a big wide happy smile – that’s Bruce. And here’s the plan….
Woz executed it to perfection. A couple of minutes after Bruce comes down Woz struts over and asks for his ID. As Bruce reaches for his wallet, Woz asks for his gambling registration. I’m playing it up too telling Bruce “Oh yeah, you need to register on line to gamble. It takes about 48 hours. But if you forget you can get a same day registration. On line it’s free but the same day registration goes for $50” Woz points to the $1,000 wager window to get his registration. Bruce is buying it hook line and sinker. As he looks to the window, Woz and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. We burst out laughing! I introduced Bruce to Woz and the 2013 GO JUMBO is off to a good start. And we have a new story to tell that will get bigger every year. Sorry Bruce but in 5 years we will have you doing all kinds
of strange and border line legal things.
We settled back, made our bets and got ready for four days of betting on everything sports related. We all made football bets, Woz made some hockey bets, Bruce scanned the Premier League lines and I took the under on the World Series. In a harbinger of things to come I lost all three football bets. The only bet one I won was the World Series wager.
As the game wound down Pete and Trent arrived. Introductions were made, beverages ordered and we got down to some good old time story telling. A favorite story of Bruce was a trip to Italy. He was telling us that the Italians are really good at swearing. Dropping F Bombs is nothing but when the get real mad they shout Porca Madonna! That will stop all conversation and bring mean stares from everyone. It’s just not said.
As the game wound down Pete and Trent arrived. Introductions were made, beverages ordered and we got down to some good old time story telling. A favorite story of Bruce was a trip to Italy. He was telling us that the Italians are really good at swearing. Dropping F Bombs is nothing but when the get real mad they shout Porca Madonna! That will stop all conversation and bring mean stares from everyone. It’s just not said.
Bruce is also a big fan of the Big Lebowski. He had us in stitches telling us classic lines from the movie. “There’s a line in that movie for every situation you will face in life” according to Bruce. We rehearsed several we knew would come in handy - including the scene where Walter is yelling at little Larry “Do you see what happens, Larry? Do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?! [Walter starts smashing up what he thinks (incorrectly) is Larry's new Corvette] This is what happens, Larry! This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass! We hoped we wouldn’t get too much Larry treatment over the weekend.
We decided that Friday we would start out at the Atomic Testing Museum in downtown Vegas. It’s run by the Smithsonian Museum. Cost was $14 for the Atomic Testing part and $20 if you wanted to go to the Area 51 side too. $20 it was! Nuclear detonations and aliens – how can you go wrong.
The Atomic Testing side was pretty good. Lots of interesting artifacts, interactive exhibits with good explanations and stories. Just as I sat down for a movie on “Duck and Cover” Fuss called. With kids scrambling on screen (in real life there would have been full scale panic just before everyone got roasted) we agreed to meet up in Old Vegas after we got through Area 51.
The Area 51 part wasn’t worth it. It couldn’t figure out whether to play up the experimental plane angle or the alien encounter angle. It was a mess of an exhibit. If you go – save yourself $6 and stay with the Atomic Testing side. It was a blast! (insert groooan here)
As we came out of the Area 51 exhibit – there was a large spread of food and soft drinks set up for some convention. Pete, the most conventioneer looking among us was the first to indulge. He sauntered over like he belonged and grabbed a petite sandwich. No one stopped him so soon we were all helping ourselves to a nice little pre-lunch.
Wiping the last crumbs off our faces we drove over to the Golden Nugget to meet up with Fuss and Mrs. Fuss.
While we were waiting we cruised by the pool. That place was happening. Lots of nice young talent having a good time. Figuring we could enjoy the wait by mingling with the eye candy – we tried going into the pool area only to be
stopped by security. The pool area was for hotel guests only. Whether that is true or they just wanted to keep a bunch of old balding paunchy guys out – I guess it doesn’t matter. We waited behind the big glass panels unashamedly ogling away. We also started contemplating staying at the Golden Nugget – pool area, cigar smoking –
maybe.
Just then the Fusses arrived. With handshakes and hugs all around we went over to a bar and polished off some beers (free if you drop $5 into the video poker – I came away with $10)
Properly lubricated, we spent the rest of the afternoon we strolling around old Vegas. Most things in Vegas tend to be a bit over priced but as we stepped out of the Golden Nugget we saw deep fried twinkies for a buck. Nothing like a cheap sweet carbo load.
Cleaning the powdered sugar off our faces we started heading down the plaza. I looked up and noticed that the zip lines appear to be gone. Pat missed this year’s festivities since he was selling his store. Sounds like he should be taking his new found capital and reinvesting it in the zip lines. What do you say Pat - $45 every couple of minutes. Could be you!
We decided that Friday we would start out at the Atomic Testing Museum in downtown Vegas. It’s run by the Smithsonian Museum. Cost was $14 for the Atomic Testing part and $20 if you wanted to go to the Area 51 side too. $20 it was! Nuclear detonations and aliens – how can you go wrong.
The Atomic Testing side was pretty good. Lots of interesting artifacts, interactive exhibits with good explanations and stories. Just as I sat down for a movie on “Duck and Cover” Fuss called. With kids scrambling on screen (in real life there would have been full scale panic just before everyone got roasted) we agreed to meet up in Old Vegas after we got through Area 51.
The Area 51 part wasn’t worth it. It couldn’t figure out whether to play up the experimental plane angle or the alien encounter angle. It was a mess of an exhibit. If you go – save yourself $6 and stay with the Atomic Testing side. It was a blast! (insert groooan here)
As we came out of the Area 51 exhibit – there was a large spread of food and soft drinks set up for some convention. Pete, the most conventioneer looking among us was the first to indulge. He sauntered over like he belonged and grabbed a petite sandwich. No one stopped him so soon we were all helping ourselves to a nice little pre-lunch.
Wiping the last crumbs off our faces we drove over to the Golden Nugget to meet up with Fuss and Mrs. Fuss.
While we were waiting we cruised by the pool. That place was happening. Lots of nice young talent having a good time. Figuring we could enjoy the wait by mingling with the eye candy – we tried going into the pool area only to be
stopped by security. The pool area was for hotel guests only. Whether that is true or they just wanted to keep a bunch of old balding paunchy guys out – I guess it doesn’t matter. We waited behind the big glass panels unashamedly ogling away. We also started contemplating staying at the Golden Nugget – pool area, cigar smoking –
maybe.
Just then the Fusses arrived. With handshakes and hugs all around we went over to a bar and polished off some beers (free if you drop $5 into the video poker – I came away with $10)
Properly lubricated, we spent the rest of the afternoon we strolling around old Vegas. Most things in Vegas tend to be a bit over priced but as we stepped out of the Golden Nugget we saw deep fried twinkies for a buck. Nothing like a cheap sweet carbo load.
Cleaning the powdered sugar off our faces we started heading down the plaza. I looked up and noticed that the zip lines appear to be gone. Pat missed this year’s festivities since he was selling his store. Sounds like he should be taking his new found capital and reinvesting it in the zip lines. What do you say Pat - $45 every couple of minutes. Could be you!
By now our pre-lunch and carbo boost were wearing off so we meandered over to the Heart Attack Grille. Since Pat was missing Bruce stepped in as his replacement for the annual weigh-in. Were down 10 pounds! Then again Bruce is about 4-5 inches shorter than Pat. But we’ll take it.
As we stepped off the scale – this huge nose tackle of a man gets on. The Heart Attack Grille gives you a free burger if you weigh more than 350 pounds. The scale spins, bounces around a little bit and settles in at 342 pounds. I’ve never seen a guy so disappointed at being just under 350. We gave him all kinds of advice on how to get the 8 pounds including pigging out at lunch, down a six pack (don’t pee though) or stuffing a bunch of coins and stuff his pockets. He wandered off – not sure what he did.
Inside the Grille we were sharing some meals and stories too when behind us a loud cheer went up. Another nose tackle tipped the scale at 351 pounds! Now that’s the way to do it. No sense consuming one more happy meal than needed.
Our stomachs topped off we started heading back to our vehicles when right by Fremont Street there is this drop dead gorgeous blonde in the smallest bikini/pasties outfit I’ve ever seen. She was offering to take her picture with you for a modest charge. A 95%+ male crowd soon gathered around and a few actually took her up on the offer. We
decided to go with the free very long developing mental picture. Still got it. Nice
It was almost erased on the other side of the street though. There, was what appeared to be a recovering drunk with withering two pack abs offering the same service. And behind him was a flabby Oprah look alike with massive drooping boobs behind some purple pasties also trying to get in on the same action. They must have gotten the same career advice at the homeless shelter. Bad advice. Haven’t been able to find the delete button on those mental pictures.
I tried to refresh the image of the blonde in the hopes of ridding myself of the other unsettling images but by now a huge throng had gathered around so we headed on out. But not before Woz decided he needed to get a Starbucks mug for Mrs. Woz and a watch battery for himself. I’m not sure what took so long but he had to be gone for close to 45 minutes. With kickoff to the Friday night game clicking down we shuffled about looking at our properly powered cell phone watches. Who wears a watch these days anyways? Woz eventually popped out all powered up so we headed back to the LVH (via the Golden Nugget pool one last time.)
Friday nights wagering was more profitable as we all took the Mormons to cover which they easily did. Woz gave a little bit of it back on the NHL. He vowed to stop betting on hockey for the rest of the weekend. Bruce reached out to his oldest son for some final advice on the Premier League. Arsenal -1.5 goals versus Crystal Palace - slam dunk according to Max. Arsenal being my favorite team (Go Gunners!), I joined in on the bet.
Woz stopped by the Roulette table and game played some spins by mentally making bets on his favorite numbers
(5 and 17) as well as group bets of 1-12 and 13-24. He was coming out ahead….
The rest of us wasted away the rest of the night just gabbing, sharing mental pictures of the blonde and discussing the next day’s action.
As we stepped off the scale – this huge nose tackle of a man gets on. The Heart Attack Grille gives you a free burger if you weigh more than 350 pounds. The scale spins, bounces around a little bit and settles in at 342 pounds. I’ve never seen a guy so disappointed at being just under 350. We gave him all kinds of advice on how to get the 8 pounds including pigging out at lunch, down a six pack (don’t pee though) or stuffing a bunch of coins and stuff his pockets. He wandered off – not sure what he did.
Inside the Grille we were sharing some meals and stories too when behind us a loud cheer went up. Another nose tackle tipped the scale at 351 pounds! Now that’s the way to do it. No sense consuming one more happy meal than needed.
Our stomachs topped off we started heading back to our vehicles when right by Fremont Street there is this drop dead gorgeous blonde in the smallest bikini/pasties outfit I’ve ever seen. She was offering to take her picture with you for a modest charge. A 95%+ male crowd soon gathered around and a few actually took her up on the offer. We
decided to go with the free very long developing mental picture. Still got it. Nice
It was almost erased on the other side of the street though. There, was what appeared to be a recovering drunk with withering two pack abs offering the same service. And behind him was a flabby Oprah look alike with massive drooping boobs behind some purple pasties also trying to get in on the same action. They must have gotten the same career advice at the homeless shelter. Bad advice. Haven’t been able to find the delete button on those mental pictures.
I tried to refresh the image of the blonde in the hopes of ridding myself of the other unsettling images but by now a huge throng had gathered around so we headed on out. But not before Woz decided he needed to get a Starbucks mug for Mrs. Woz and a watch battery for himself. I’m not sure what took so long but he had to be gone for close to 45 minutes. With kickoff to the Friday night game clicking down we shuffled about looking at our properly powered cell phone watches. Who wears a watch these days anyways? Woz eventually popped out all powered up so we headed back to the LVH (via the Golden Nugget pool one last time.)
Friday nights wagering was more profitable as we all took the Mormons to cover which they easily did. Woz gave a little bit of it back on the NHL. He vowed to stop betting on hockey for the rest of the weekend. Bruce reached out to his oldest son for some final advice on the Premier League. Arsenal -1.5 goals versus Crystal Palace - slam dunk according to Max. Arsenal being my favorite team (Go Gunners!), I joined in on the bet.
Woz stopped by the Roulette table and game played some spins by mentally making bets on his favorite numbers
(5 and 17) as well as group bets of 1-12 and 13-24. He was coming out ahead….
The rest of us wasted away the rest of the night just gabbing, sharing mental pictures of the blonde and discussing the next day’s action.
Saturday!! FFDY!! It’s here. It’s finally here.
I couldn’t wait. I was down in the Sports Book with my computer and Big Book of Guesses at 6 AM. Just me, a couple of curious security guards, a bunch of empty chairs towered over by huge walls of brightly lit potential wagering action. Silent heaven.
I happened to glance up at the massive screen TVs to see that Arsenal had won 3 to 1. I was ahead on the
day before I even woke up. Bruce was going to be a happy camper too.
I made my final selections and updated the Big Book as the gang started to assemble. Time to hit the
buffet!! Bruce and I were to take the first shift. Approaching the hostess I told Bruce that we were going to get our lucky table – the one we always sit at on Game Day Saturday. Sure enough – without prompting we got the same exact table we have gotten every Saturday of the GO JUMBO weekend – the one with Pat’s name engraved on the back from his heroic gastronomic accomplishments. Amazing! Bruce was impressed. Maybe Lady Luck will be with us after all.
And while we came nowhere near Pat’s typical caloric intake we did a yeoman’s job on the eggs benedict,
roast beast, shrimp, corn beef hash, hash browns and a wide variety of other eats. A doughnut to go finished off my eating for the rest of the day.
Now it was time to get down to business. I like to get my bets in for the day all at once. Too often I have chased bad bets in the hope of making a recovery. It’s a poor strategy however logical it may seem after the fifth vodka tonic. And the Mega Bet picking so far seemed to indicate that this would be a down year. I just couldn’t seem to land on a good methodology this year. I decided that the Arsenal win and the seating at our lucky table was just a head fake by Lady Luck in the hopes of getting some of her money back. I wasn’t going to fall for it. I ratcheted back both the
number of bets and the amounts too.
Huddling over my handy dandy Bettors Guide, Trent pulls out a $100 bill – his lucky $100 bill. Seems as
though one day Trent was getting into his car and there by his front door was a C-Note. Just sitting there calmly waiting to be picked up. No one in the parking lot seemed to be looking around for one (not that he was going to ask) so he grabbed and decided right then and there to save it for the right bet on the GO
JUMBO weekend.
He also wanted some advice on what to bet on. I warned of my picking prowess this year but he figured easy come easy go. And if it really was a lucky Benjamin he didn’t just want to double his money. Trent was going for it. So we decided to do a parlay on the 2013 GO JUMBO Mega Bets.
There really wasn’t too much action on the early games. Bruce and I were cheering on the Yellow Jackets as
they traveled to Virginia favored by 10.5. Of course they won 35-25. Just not my year. We were also rooting on our joint alma mater Northwestern – who proceeded to lose to Iowa in overtime. This was getting to be a joke. We made our first Larry references – This is what happens…
As first slate of games wound down Bruce’s brother showed up. He’s such a huge fan of the Big Lebowski he adopted the nom de plume of The Sheriff of Malibu! Now the movie references were going fast and furious – Iowa Hawkeyes - Damn nihilists; GT/Virginia – it’s a
league game Smokey; Our picks so far – Forget it Donny – you’re out of your element. Bruce was right – there is a quote for every occasion.
The Sheriff hurried to the window to make his picks (joining us in some Mega Bet picks) and then rejoined us for some Bloody Marys at our table. It was time for not only MSU Illinois but also the first Mega Bet game – Clemson @ Maryland.
The Spartans were doing their part. By the end of the third quarter they were dominating the Illini 28-3. Fight songs were being sung, high fives were common. It was a cake walk. So we focused our attention on the Clemson game.
Clemson was giving 17 and struggled a bit early but started to turn it on in the second half. With 5 minutes to go they finally went up 40-20. Things were looking good. Maryland fumbled on their next drive. All right!! Clemson drove to the Maryland 40 to set up 4th and 2. Get it and the game is over. Or punt it to set up a long drive for the Terps. Just don’t go for it and miss.
They go for it and miss - getting 1 yard. Larry is this your homework? I could see it coming. Maryland proceeds to drive to the Clemson 14. Nine seconds left, Maryland drops back, heaves it into the endzone and - TD!!
Porca Madonna!! Nine freaking seconds to go and Maryland scores a meaningless TD. They lose 40-27 but get the cover. Half the Sportsbook is dropping F bombs. We were going further than that. Porca Madonna!! Luckily there didn’t appear to be any Italians in the book.
Trent’s lucky Benjamin is now gone. Bruce and the Sheriff are out some money and I am down a Mega Bet. Nine freaking seconds.
I couldn’t wait. I was down in the Sports Book with my computer and Big Book of Guesses at 6 AM. Just me, a couple of curious security guards, a bunch of empty chairs towered over by huge walls of brightly lit potential wagering action. Silent heaven.
I happened to glance up at the massive screen TVs to see that Arsenal had won 3 to 1. I was ahead on the
day before I even woke up. Bruce was going to be a happy camper too.
I made my final selections and updated the Big Book as the gang started to assemble. Time to hit the
buffet!! Bruce and I were to take the first shift. Approaching the hostess I told Bruce that we were going to get our lucky table – the one we always sit at on Game Day Saturday. Sure enough – without prompting we got the same exact table we have gotten every Saturday of the GO JUMBO weekend – the one with Pat’s name engraved on the back from his heroic gastronomic accomplishments. Amazing! Bruce was impressed. Maybe Lady Luck will be with us after all.
And while we came nowhere near Pat’s typical caloric intake we did a yeoman’s job on the eggs benedict,
roast beast, shrimp, corn beef hash, hash browns and a wide variety of other eats. A doughnut to go finished off my eating for the rest of the day.
Now it was time to get down to business. I like to get my bets in for the day all at once. Too often I have chased bad bets in the hope of making a recovery. It’s a poor strategy however logical it may seem after the fifth vodka tonic. And the Mega Bet picking so far seemed to indicate that this would be a down year. I just couldn’t seem to land on a good methodology this year. I decided that the Arsenal win and the seating at our lucky table was just a head fake by Lady Luck in the hopes of getting some of her money back. I wasn’t going to fall for it. I ratcheted back both the
number of bets and the amounts too.
Huddling over my handy dandy Bettors Guide, Trent pulls out a $100 bill – his lucky $100 bill. Seems as
though one day Trent was getting into his car and there by his front door was a C-Note. Just sitting there calmly waiting to be picked up. No one in the parking lot seemed to be looking around for one (not that he was going to ask) so he grabbed and decided right then and there to save it for the right bet on the GO
JUMBO weekend.
He also wanted some advice on what to bet on. I warned of my picking prowess this year but he figured easy come easy go. And if it really was a lucky Benjamin he didn’t just want to double his money. Trent was going for it. So we decided to do a parlay on the 2013 GO JUMBO Mega Bets.
There really wasn’t too much action on the early games. Bruce and I were cheering on the Yellow Jackets as
they traveled to Virginia favored by 10.5. Of course they won 35-25. Just not my year. We were also rooting on our joint alma mater Northwestern – who proceeded to lose to Iowa in overtime. This was getting to be a joke. We made our first Larry references – This is what happens…
As first slate of games wound down Bruce’s brother showed up. He’s such a huge fan of the Big Lebowski he adopted the nom de plume of The Sheriff of Malibu! Now the movie references were going fast and furious – Iowa Hawkeyes - Damn nihilists; GT/Virginia – it’s a
league game Smokey; Our picks so far – Forget it Donny – you’re out of your element. Bruce was right – there is a quote for every occasion.
The Sheriff hurried to the window to make his picks (joining us in some Mega Bet picks) and then rejoined us for some Bloody Marys at our table. It was time for not only MSU Illinois but also the first Mega Bet game – Clemson @ Maryland.
The Spartans were doing their part. By the end of the third quarter they were dominating the Illini 28-3. Fight songs were being sung, high fives were common. It was a cake walk. So we focused our attention on the Clemson game.
Clemson was giving 17 and struggled a bit early but started to turn it on in the second half. With 5 minutes to go they finally went up 40-20. Things were looking good. Maryland fumbled on their next drive. All right!! Clemson drove to the Maryland 40 to set up 4th and 2. Get it and the game is over. Or punt it to set up a long drive for the Terps. Just don’t go for it and miss.
They go for it and miss - getting 1 yard. Larry is this your homework? I could see it coming. Maryland proceeds to drive to the Clemson 14. Nine seconds left, Maryland drops back, heaves it into the endzone and - TD!!
Porca Madonna!! Nine freaking seconds to go and Maryland scores a meaningless TD. They lose 40-27 but get the cover. Half the Sportsbook is dropping F bombs. We were going further than that. Porca Madonna!! Luckily there didn’t appear to be any Italians in the book.
Trent’s lucky Benjamin is now gone. Bruce and the Sheriff are out some money and I am down a Mega Bet. Nine freaking seconds.
I knocked back a couple of vodka tonics, looked up and
saw that another Mega Bet was toast. Ohio was favored by 26 over Miami (OH). The final score was 41-16. One freaking point. “You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click".
Click. Not only was I getting Larried – I was getting Jesused.
In years past this is when I would have gone to the window and doubled down on the final Mega Bet Louisville -20.5 @ South Florida. Not this year – I was going to be smart.
Real smart. Louisville goes on to win 31-3 for an easy cover. I can’t even get my non-bets right.
Pete was chuckling at Trent’s Mega Bet parlay – “you only missed it by 2 games - out of 3” The pisser was that it was nine seconds and a point. So damn close. Sorry Trent.
Woz decided to go over to the Roulette table and try his betting method for real this time. I gave him $20 and told him to do the 1-12 and 13-24 spread. A while later he comes back pretty dejected. He had lost a sizable chunk of cash. I asked him about my $20. “You lost it on the first roll – it came up double zero. I played a different table”. Woz – you don’t go playing different table!! Stay with what works.
With that we spent the rest of the night watching the late games, playing slots (a chance to smoke cigars) and talking about the day’s action.
Sunday morning rolled around and I was down in the Sports Book early again. This time a little less geeked and bit more humbled. I decided on my Mega Bet game (the following Monday Night game)but I wasn’t going to bet it unless the day’s events went well.
The gang eventually arrived – we took turns grazing at the buffet and strategized our bets. Woz was going to do his usual parlays. I made some under bets but did a handful of 5 team Super teasers too. The Sheriff had to head out but gave Bruce some interesting advice. Do a “Hall of Fame” parlay bet. Take the three future hall of fame QBs – Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning to cover.
The HOF parlay (now copyrighted by Bruce) got off to a shaky start. Miami was leading at the half 17-3. Now there is a different vibe in the Sportsbook on Sunday. Less fight songs and more F bombs. New England being a popular betting team – the F bombs were flying. But it became one big happy family when Brady threw a TD to go up 27-17 with 7 minutes to go and get the cover. Bruce had the first game in the bag.
Not only is the NFL crowd a little more vulgar but they are a lot more creative too. We were chuckling at
some of the great lines we overheard.
"I'm a linebacker and I'm tired..."(after a missed tackle causing a score)
"OK, KC, you had your moment now give up!"
"Ha, they got him....he can't have kids no more." After a tackle to the groin
saw that another Mega Bet was toast. Ohio was favored by 26 over Miami (OH). The final score was 41-16. One freaking point. “You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click".
Click. Not only was I getting Larried – I was getting Jesused.
In years past this is when I would have gone to the window and doubled down on the final Mega Bet Louisville -20.5 @ South Florida. Not this year – I was going to be smart.
Real smart. Louisville goes on to win 31-3 for an easy cover. I can’t even get my non-bets right.
Pete was chuckling at Trent’s Mega Bet parlay – “you only missed it by 2 games - out of 3” The pisser was that it was nine seconds and a point. So damn close. Sorry Trent.
Woz decided to go over to the Roulette table and try his betting method for real this time. I gave him $20 and told him to do the 1-12 and 13-24 spread. A while later he comes back pretty dejected. He had lost a sizable chunk of cash. I asked him about my $20. “You lost it on the first roll – it came up double zero. I played a different table”. Woz – you don’t go playing different table!! Stay with what works.
With that we spent the rest of the night watching the late games, playing slots (a chance to smoke cigars) and talking about the day’s action.
Sunday morning rolled around and I was down in the Sports Book early again. This time a little less geeked and bit more humbled. I decided on my Mega Bet game (the following Monday Night game)but I wasn’t going to bet it unless the day’s events went well.
The gang eventually arrived – we took turns grazing at the buffet and strategized our bets. Woz was going to do his usual parlays. I made some under bets but did a handful of 5 team Super teasers too. The Sheriff had to head out but gave Bruce some interesting advice. Do a “Hall of Fame” parlay bet. Take the three future hall of fame QBs – Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning to cover.
The HOF parlay (now copyrighted by Bruce) got off to a shaky start. Miami was leading at the half 17-3. Now there is a different vibe in the Sportsbook on Sunday. Less fight songs and more F bombs. New England being a popular betting team – the F bombs were flying. But it became one big happy family when Brady threw a TD to go up 27-17 with 7 minutes to go and get the cover. Bruce had the first game in the bag.
Not only is the NFL crowd a little more vulgar but they are a lot more creative too. We were chuckling at
some of the great lines we overheard.
"I'm a linebacker and I'm tired..."(after a missed tackle causing a score)
"OK, KC, you had your moment now give up!"
"Ha, they got him....he can't have kids no more." After a tackle to the groin
Bruce was adding to the lines this time quoting 2001 – A Space
Odyssey. The Lions were getting beat by the Cowboys early in the fourth quarter 20-10. Dave! Dave! “Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?” In a flash of brilliance Bruce went over to this “street” vendor (he was actually behind us in the Sportsbook) and bought an official Lions nuts necklace. Strange thing – but it worked. The Lions pull off a miracle to win the game!
Well kind of worked – the Lions won by a point when they were giving 3. No matter. I plan on wearing my lucky nuts on the Doofus Deck for all the big games!
And Bruce’s luck kept going in the afternoon game. Once again he started out in a deep hole as Washington jumped to a 21-7 lead midway through the third. But Peyton was having nothing with it. He caught fire. Finally with 2 minutes left he threw a TD pass to get the cover. The book exploded! Bruce was now two for two.
One more game to go. The night game was without drama. Green Bay cruised to a 41-17 lead late in the 4th before hanging on for a 44-31 win. Bruce was going home a winner!
Pete had a great weekend too going an amazing 13-4 on his bets. Woz returned to the Roulette table – this time going to his lucky one where he more than recovered his losses.
The Doofus was not quite so lucky. Sunday was break even due to winning most of the parlays. I decided to forgo the last Mega Bet on Monday night. Good thing – it was a loser.
Trent and I closed down the days activities in the book and cashed in everyone’s night action. Another great
time
Odyssey. The Lions were getting beat by the Cowboys early in the fourth quarter 20-10. Dave! Dave! “Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?” In a flash of brilliance Bruce went over to this “street” vendor (he was actually behind us in the Sportsbook) and bought an official Lions nuts necklace. Strange thing – but it worked. The Lions pull off a miracle to win the game!
Well kind of worked – the Lions won by a point when they were giving 3. No matter. I plan on wearing my lucky nuts on the Doofus Deck for all the big games!
And Bruce’s luck kept going in the afternoon game. Once again he started out in a deep hole as Washington jumped to a 21-7 lead midway through the third. But Peyton was having nothing with it. He caught fire. Finally with 2 minutes left he threw a TD pass to get the cover. The book exploded! Bruce was now two for two.
One more game to go. The night game was without drama. Green Bay cruised to a 41-17 lead late in the 4th before hanging on for a 44-31 win. Bruce was going home a winner!
Pete had a great weekend too going an amazing 13-4 on his bets. Woz returned to the Roulette table – this time going to his lucky one where he more than recovered his losses.
The Doofus was not quite so lucky. Sunday was break even due to winning most of the parlays. I decided to forgo the last Mega Bet on Monday night. Good thing – it was a loser.
Trent and I closed down the days activities in the book and cashed in everyone’s night action. Another great
time
And with Pat unable to make it Pete and I held the Executive Committee in his absence but with his proxy. A quorum being duly formed we voted to have the 2014 GO JUMBO weekend to be
November 15, 2014 at The LVH Hotel
Michigan State will be travelling to Maryland. Sully’s grandkids birthdays will be in the past. Pat doesn’t have to worry about the Christmas selling season. Joe’s kids will no longer be Seniors. No excuses next year!
November 15, 2014 at The LVH Hotel
Michigan State will be travelling to Maryland. Sully’s grandkids birthdays will be in the past. Pat doesn’t have to worry about the Christmas selling season. Joe’s kids will no longer be Seniors. No excuses next year!